charge

initium: Initiate, Orientate, Assimilate. You ain't got a choice!

wahahhaha...

I feeling damn lucky for some weird reason, bah. better not let this mood affect my exams...

speaking of exams, chinese paper's tmr... *crosses fingers*

wish me luck! *dives into the sea*

I Will Be Back

Indeed, exams are creeping really close now, and I can't say I got much time to spare hanging abt like this and wasting my time in front of the com... *like now. grins*

Love Chiang Mai's been getting me so hyped up all over, hahaha. But at same time, I think I am getting a tad too little over-edgy over the fundraising matters... lolx, and eugene and I have not thought about what to display at the science booths either. Must really devote sometime to think about it when we are done with our fund-raising.

Funds collected so far, I am afraid it is not within my position to disclose figures... but I can safely say that we, Cadbury (silly name) group, are already about halfway to meet our target. I am sure, that if all of you out there continue to lend us your support for our fundraising efforts, we can make the Love Chiang Mai project a success! Thank you all, and we do hope that you will continue to support our cause to the very end!!! For the people, for the love of humanity, for Chiang Mai!!! XD

Anyway, other than that, it has been obsession with homework, PROJECTS, TESTS, and the dreaded....

EXAMS

wth. dead meat liaox... better get back to my work soon.

So, i'd just like to leave a final word here, on my blog of "loneliness", that I will be gone, leaving this forest to fight the devil... and will come back when the big battle is over. triumphant, or defeated, it remains to be seen... but no matter, I am packing up for good and leaving this place.

For now.

Until 9th November, cya then!

true friends... (or to be)

hey, remember recently how down i've been, of being alone, outcast, thrown out, castaway?

Well, not anymore.

I've seen to have regained new found courage to fight, fight, and fight on in life. And I owe it all... to these new found friends. True or soon-to-be, I know not, but I am sure that time will tell for this special bond I share with these people...

My special buddy Asra, who's been standing by me ever since the start of the year when we were brought together under the name of Fleming. She's been the best fellow vice-cap, councillor, tag-team, and trusted friend that I have throughout all this time. Thank you so much asra! I will never forget the trust and bonds we share. =)

Next, is Eugene. To be honest, I was never really keen on being good friends with you eugene, but somehow, time has allowed me to change my perspective about you. Indeed, it is in the recent events that I've realised how much we 2 former CHS-ians have in common. You are a loyal, trustworthy friend that stands by me in all weather, and I wanna say that I salute you for your bravery and loyalty. At times, you've almost moved me to tears...

At the same time, I've just discovered 2 more people that really show concern for me, and they seem to be the people which I've least expected to be...

Nic yeo, the guy. the man, that's been through so much in so little time, but has yet spared thoughts for my feelings and helped lift me up in the darkest of hours. Now, never have I seen a junior that actually cares so much about me before, and I'd just wanna send my biggest appreciations to nic yeo for being such a great pal and I hope that this friendship will continue between the both of us till we graduate (yes, till we graduate. there's no way I am gonna let you give up halfway k!). And also, I remain grateful to you for putting behind all the past "feuds" we had... I... thanks nic.

Andy soh, one person who I've known by name for months, but not in person. Strange as in how we've been brought together of late, but I've realised that there's a certain friendship building up between the both of us. Small the seedling may be, but for all the concern he's put in for me, I think that I really want to see our bond further develop, and may it bring up more good for both of us in the near future. =)

As I am typing this, I am also leaking from my runny nose (partly from flu). Never have I expressed myself so openly before! XD

I also wanna show my appreciation to...

Ching pin, for being the best-est mentor grp buddy in 304!
Ying Zhen, for being the forever jovial/super-enthu bouncy girl in 304!
Charmaine, for the emotional leadership you have provided for 304, and being a nice fren!
Li Young, for being a gd bball mate/fellow councillor/buddy.
Gary, for being a loyal, stand-by-me buddy in council.
Samuel, for being there always if I need a listening ear.

that's about all from me. Thank you all... for everything... everything... I will never... forget... *sigh*

PS: if I missed out ya name, do tell me kay!! XD

layups

alright, looks like i need to blog more often, as a way to fa1 xie4 my stress, lest it builds up and kills me or something... *jking*

Anyway, today's fine I suppose, went for morning council meeting and discussed the title of our upcoming so-called "motivational pep-talks". Sounds real stupid to me, but nevermind. If not, where's all the fun in this world gone to? XD Heh, got the invitation to the ceremony to receive AMC prize! I hope it doesn't take too long... I need a little bit of the time to revise some chinese for the exams k! >.<

Started matrices! Heez, very tedious it is, yes? But nonetheless, life goes on... And history, oh man, the 301-304 class is lagging behind ALOT. arghhh... haha. what if we cannot finish before the exams? howhowhow?! *sheesh* Haha... uber scared for the exams man! XP Then had english, pretty slack lesson today (slacker than usual I suppose. at least we didn't have any homework or any writing-intensive assignment).

For the 1st time this sem, after finishing lunch, I went straight to the CCR to read up chem notes as a refresher and look into the new geog notes. Didn't get very far, so napped instead. =) Chem up next. omg, yingzhen's grp like, so PRO AT CHEM LA (yu heng + belinda + marge + ying zhen = PRONESS). argh, confirm get highest marks for chem presentation liao la!!! >.< Haha, then we finished the video for geog and continued into vulcanism. Didn't get very far either, and I wonder if we are able to finish the syllabus on time... *gulp*

Chinese next. THX GOODNESS, need not do zuo wen in class today! it is tmr... *phew* hahaha... had a nice time crapping with zhuo lao shi (we enjoy it. after all, that's the joy of crapping in mandarin right? whee). Lolz... And last lesson for the day was polynomials. Ergh, got stuck finding out what synthetic division is like, but thxfully, now I know already... =)

After lessons, I went to practise a little bball and layup. Was showing my sis the layups when hari came along. He then coached me a little and gave me tips on how to improve my layups (which so happens to be his niche area, playing center and all)! Whee, so nice of him... thx hari! XD Haha...

I feel the confidence in my bball skills flowing back... with the help from the bballers at cca and all... hmm. Must work hard!!! XD

that's all I suppose. I've yet to find out how to do poly assignment 3, plus sketch my chem graphs. shall finish the chem labby in art free period tmr. yipee!

Hope I won't screw anything up too soon... *prays*

confused

hmm... I seem to be feeling very very luan4 today for some weird reason... My thoughts are everywhere, my mind's a mess, and my life (and hw) seems to be all in haywire.

I wanna feel nervous and tense for the exams!

Yet I am not.

I feel as though my life's kinda sad.

Yet, I am not depressed.

I am supposed to be veryveryveryvery hyper about the upcoming trip to chiang mai for service learning...

But am I?

argh. I hate confusion. The one and only thought that really kills me. It's like, I'd rather know how I am feeling, be it good or bad, rather than being lost in the middle of nowhere. sickening. Where's the end of the tunnel when you need it... XD

But sometimes, being lost in lala-land can prove to be a good thing for some people. Like for instance, ever had days where you feel reallyreally tired after all that you have done, and looking back pains you as you've seen your failures or wrongdoings along the way, plus worrying somemore about what the future lays for you? Well, I can only say that these people really deserve a trip to wonderland, to let loose, to let go of all emotions, and just... fly away XP

Flying away from this human world sounds like a good idea...

But I shan't do it... until I've gotten rid of the EoY exams! Haha... I don't know if I shld owe my current state of confusion to it, or if it is just my own mind playing tricks on me, but no matter, the exams must be finished... no matter what the cost.

And speaking of cost, hmm, that would include less "socializing", no computer games from now on *ARGH*, more time and effort spent on finishing up remaining homework and projects (suddenly reminded of geog proj. oh no), and to turn up my 100% full speed for cramming and revision! Yea... this sem's gna be a hell lot to chew on.

Chemistry: Molecular shapes, states of matter, and hands-on (titrations and qualitative analysis)

Ouch.

Biology: Reproduction, and Inheritance/Genetics

Double Ouch.

Physics: Oscillations, waves, and optics.

MAJOR OUCH.

and 5 math modules to boot, when last sem I've only got 3...

not counting in the 2 humanities and 2 (3. CL paper 1 and 2) language papers too.

I hate it whenever I see those music/art takers not get any form of exams. sickening... >.< and it is a core humans too!!! ARGH.

But I shan't be so slack. must workworkwork (anyway, hist is fun =D)

And I've just burnt 15mins blogging, when my optics hw set 2 is rusting away. ciao!

why do the best things in our lives have to go...

aye, a weekend! And finally able to make a post on my "rather sad looking" blog! whee... XD

anyway, i'd say that this is one of the more interesting fridays that I have had in quite a while, especially with the several events in the day. Let me recount...

Assembly took place in the LT, due to bad weather conditions. When "flag-raising" ceremony was over, we were about to leave when suddenly ms flo picked up the mike and gave us... well, a "lesson" (if you catch my drift ya?), talking a lot about our behaviour from lack of discipline, lack of respect, late-coming, etcetc. Then lip tong came forward before the entire sch to apologise for the silly act of folly he commited yesterday. Yaya lip tong, I kno strutting in when prof lai just walked onto the podium sounds grand and all, and waving to everyone seems rather cute, but err, reserve that for next time. =D

Had our 1st chem prac for states of matter! Whee. So uber cool, sick and tired of the old titrations from chem hands-on module... sigh. But nvrtheless, knowing that working with ching pin can sometimes lead to very very interesting pracs... *grins* yep. Sat there waiting for 26 minutes for the distilled water to freeze at near zero temperatures. How brilliant. XD

Free period was spent whiling away the time in the canteen rushing my gong1 han2... I just dun geddit. ppl can all finish within one hour, and I have to take double the time. Is it my perfectionistic personality acting up again? damnit. Haha... ah well, I hope the time spent is worth it though! =)

Then moved off to council room for meeting with ms flo at 11. haha, pretty amusing when ly came in late with his pants soaking wet. It turns out that as he was looking at tadpoles in the pond *I wonder wad actually captivated him to look at them anyway*, when suddenly luxi and timothy came from behind and pushed him into the pond... bloody brilliant, I should say, a very, very, very smart move. Poor LY... wasted 20+ bucks getting a new pair of pants from the bkshop. =(

Combined mentoring again, this time to discuss with us how to handle our emotions. Yea, anger, sadness, fear, are all inter-related. And it seems some of the case studies seem to fit my description... hmm, I wonder why, and I seem to know how ms low (sch counsellor) got those scenarios... XD heh. She must have, well, nevermind. and omgwth, my face turned red when mr koh asked me to share about an incident when I felt really really angry! *sheesh* haha, said some stuff abt backstabbing and all... lol.

Oh, and then before we left the LT, ms flo was like "sch do not go yet" in a very grave fashion. Another dressing-down again, lolx. Nevermind, what matters is that she called up luxi and timothy to see her after the rest of the school was dismissed. Yep, LY's gna have some form of justice done for him! *grins* So I was about to leave the LT when suddenly mr lim (VP) was suddenly raising his voice at luxi. oh dear me, lolz, poor luxi got a shouting match from mr lim back there... but in my opinion, he deserved it. Charis later even told me that mr lim actually ripped his badge of his uniform and threw it on the floor! Well, I dunno how true is that, but I (and the rest of us) could certainly tell that mr lim was really on fire...

I dunno if I shld be pitying luxi at all. heck.

This ended up consuming some of the chinese lesson, and zhuo lao shi seemed rather jumpy again... kept taking quotes from ms flo and ms low today, ahahahha... Rather slack, handed up my gong1 han2... and THX GOD, NO ZUO WEN! *phew*

then comes the last bball session of the year! Whee... so sad, but at least it frees up my time to concentrate on more serious matters (ie. exams). Heh, finally my jump shots and layups are beginning to show some form! Well, for my right hand at least. My left is still as crappy as ever... what the heck. Argh, shall just concentrate on perfecting my right hand before moving on to my inferior arm... played against the teachers again (mr chong, ms lee, mr soh, and mr koh, the trainee teacher who used to teach us). So tired out! >.< sigh... Soccer team was playing friendly against SJI team (must be jenkin invite one la), final score: 0-2. We lost yea, but at least it was not as bad as what some of the players have predicted. Donovan gave it a 0-10, while derrick betted 2-8. hahaha... *claps* well done all of u! I wonder whether NO POINTers will be playing friendlies against other schools too... the outcome would indeed be... interesting XD

and omg, the 5 of us at the end of bball training have been told something very grave... argh, why is it the things we treasure most will leave us quickly? why? why? why?! I've given him all due respect for his achievements, gave my love to that particular subject, and worked hard to do well for it, yet, it will all change... just like that. I dunno whether I will find another as inspiring as him, nor will I know whether I would still be able to learn the subject better, but I certainly hope my interest for it will never die...

I will never forget him.

sigh. so depressing. hahah... let me end off on a lighter note: royston ong actually left us in school without a word when cy gone off with him!!! wth... we waited for him some more, some kind of fren he is huh! hmph... I shall quote QC, "royston shi4 zhong4 se4 qing1 you3 de..." XD

10 POINTS FOR THAT QC!

the uphill slope

finally. liberated myself off both physics full labbys... lolx. Plus no more chem lab report to do! Hahaha... feeling much better with these pain-in-the-neck hw off my back. Hmm, and feeling so bored as usual, I decide to blog.

Heh, nothing really much to say abt today, other than the fact that poly quiz 1 this morning was such a disappointment. I didn't manage to do the 2 super-hard questions! ARGH. lol... anyway, at least i passed it la... Better than nth rite? XD

Yea, and I just realised that after so long, I have not handed up my documentary review... can you believe it? After 2 months of being ignorant, I finally fished my documentary review out of my bag, and was told by ms chan that I had to rewrite it?!

omgihatethisfreakingshitofenglishhomeworkargh!!

Haha. nevermind that. For forensics, we were let off early for once! Whee... Hahaha. Walked to mrt with nic yeo, QC, andy, and royston (again "tailing" the usual lot of girls). Haha, but of coz, the rest of us all have reserved the honour of letting royston go ahead to follow cy home *grins*. ahhz! But too bad, royston kept lagging behind, so we decided to move ahead without him (but I believe he would still have followed cy home either way. nic has shared with me something really really really interesting abt royston... i can't believe he is that crazy to do it la! Even I not so crazy to follow someone back home and then take bus back myself!!!) omg. siaoness man... XD

On the train, me andy and QC were talking, when I was suddenly reminded of the "grading system" that gabriel, dominic, and derrick had. And I was like... ok that's it.

"good point there, plus 2"

"lame joke. plus 5"

"*roaring with laughter* that's real nice there. plus 20!"

And also dun forget...

"not funny. zero point"

"bad joke, minus 2"

"ergh, minus 20"

Wheeeee... haha. damn lame la. even fishie and feli seemed rather amused at it. I kept firing points at them till they had nothing else left to say about me liaox... (perhaps my lameness is getting too far or sth. darn) Hahhaha... and by the time I left that MRT at raffles place, QC and andy already mastered the art of "giving lame points"! Whee... finally some year 1s have gotten this system. Perhaps I should propagate this...

I wonder if andy and QC continued to bug fishie with the points thingy... XD

No matter. Back home. 10.24. and I have not touched my gong1 han2... bye.

uber late post

heh. talk abt lateness man... *grins*

I just changed my blogskin, to signify a significant impact in my life... I hope this would not have to stay permanent. It is not my wish to remain lost forever in the confounding forest of misery...

Pray hard. Let God shine the light ahead. Stay faithful. And move on... =)