i take my leave... for now

The time has come... the hour draws near... every second I have here will be one of the last which I get to sniff the wonderful motherland air... before setting off into the big unknown out there... lying in wait for the next 10 days before I return...

Or will I return?

May God bless me... and I shall take my leave. *bows down and departs beyond the dark wooden door*

leaving tmr

aye, can't say much at this point of time... I feel as though I am like, slowly walking up to the tip of a diving board, ready to jump down 5 metres and plunge into the icy depths below... Well, boredom fills up half of my mind now, with games starting to get rather dull and me needing other convenient outlets for my energy XD, but the other half of my mind seems rather... hyper, excited... perhaps even scared.

Yes, I'll be leaving for Chiang Mai tmr, at abt 4+pm, to represent the pioneering batch of NUSHS students in the 1st ever overseas service learning trip!

Speak of the devil, this would be the 1st time I actually travel abroad without my parents, and gah, the tension is killing me!! *chokes*

And phew, i'll be away for a looooooongloooooooong time... 10 whole days! And will only be back on 2 Dec midnight!!! WAAHHH... imagine the amount of maple time lost!! >.< *and my sis most probably reach lvl 40 by then i think* siansiansian. ihatethebloodytensionanditiskillingmelikehell!!! XD

and I will definitely miss all my frens as well! aye! away from them for such a long period of time... no msn to keep in touch, yadayada... sigh.

Let's hope all this will finish fast.

So everyone, wish me all the best! *dives*...

*hangs a sign saying: "WILL BE BACK ON 2 DECEMBER 2005"*

CAP

bleargh, this is gna be another nerdy post, so aye-eye, take note *braces*.

This morning, went back to school to pick up results. Haha... as I was travelling there via my parents' car, i was contemplating what are the chances that ms cheng will have alot to lecture to my parents about me (being a arrogant prat, etc) and telling them that "my grades are slipping so take note", blahblahblah... in short, i was praying for the best, but expecting the worse - my CAP will most probably be below 4.5, and I would be lucky if it doesn't go below 4. >.<

Lolz... was sitting there rocking back and forth, back and forth, wondering how to answer my parents when they see my slipping grades. Then, who knows, they may start probing into my life, asking what's wrong, what's up *the ceiling*, what's down *hell*, anything screwing my studies, or work, or love life, or WADEVA. And that will just spell one word: DOOM. =
Anyway, reached sch just on time (my sister delayed my entire family, so we were held back), and rushed into hall. I don't believe it, i was actually all tense up when i sat before ms cheng and her stack of report cards!! o.0 As she fumbled through that thick stack for a minute or so, she finally fished out my report and passed it to me. I closed my eyes for a second, and then looked at my CAP score...

*silence*

...

omg.

4.69

...

I was like, wad the *beep*.

*fainted*

haha... amusing. I went high all of a sudden for no apparent reason, as though I just took in a dose of esctasy. XD And looked through my report card. All seems in order, except I suspect there was some moderation in the chem modules (hands-on: B+, Molecular Models: B+, States of Matter: A-)... hmm, blah, no matter. 3 more A+s to go into my report as well - exp&log, stats, and CO-ORD *gay*. wahaha... all math. still seeking one to go for my sciences. *rubs chin*

I should say that I've done better than i've expected. wait. not just better... MUCH BETTER than I've expected...

Do I feel happy? Is this what i've always wanted?

Ah nevermind, just have to cope with more pressure from my parents, my teachers, and myself next year on... but lets leave the icky parts about that till next year shall we? =)

Now... I better get back to work on my logic poster for Love Chiang Mai, before ms flo kills me for not putting anything up >.<. Oh, I'm suddenly reminded I should go find out the other "pros" CAPs as well, especially fiona's. I've got a sinking feeling she's got above 4.7... >.< shikes.

arts fest! class outing!!!

wahh! came back so late at night ytd... so no time to blog abt arts fest. >.< bah, but no matter, today I shall pour my soul out XD

Lets start right from the beginning... yesterday morning shall we? *cracks fingers* this is gonna be a longg longg post.... bleagh.

Went to school at usual time!!! WAH... nooooo choice, had full dress rehearsal in the very morning before the big event! bah, so spent the entire morning in school rehearsing for the arts fest nite. Haha... choir seemed to be doing fine, only with the mike management and optimum projection of our voices within the hall being the main problems. Thanks to tiancheng and yingzhen for helping us solve this prob! *phew* Heh, tiancheng was a little irritated at the chinese orchestra and the orchestra that were practising their instruments while he helped us (choir) do the sound testing, so he sort of went to tell them off... Pity them =\ haha, sad.

Rehearse... until 12+ in the noon. My original plan was to stick in school and practise abit more/sleep. However, ken wei somehow had the uncanny ability to drag me along with jac, jiesheng, and fiona (god knows why she's there so early before the actual thing when she ain't involved at all) to his house to have some fun time before the big event... hmm, muz hav been his GameCube. XP Ah well... took 106 from sch to his home, and had lunch there (i think it was cheese pasta). Lunch over, it was time for the group of us to sit down before the gamecube to play!! Heehee... I played SuperSmashBros for a short while, before jono came round and together with kenwei and his bro jonwei, thrashed me left, right, up, down, center... bah. *doesn't want to think about it*. So I stopped playing. Jac was desperate for some ToS (Tales of Symphonia) action, so they switched games and went ahead. It was 2pm in the afternoon by then, and we had 2 more hours to burn before we had to leave ken wei's hse to go bac to sch for a final round up...... *yawns* the world is spinning... the sofa is sooo comfortable... the air is so hot... the game getting monotonous... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Only woke up an hour later at 3pm. By then, gabriel had come too, and ToS was switched to X-men Legends (not sure 1 or 2). Haha... thank god. Anymore ToS and I think I m gna faint. XD Anyway, went for a shower and changed into my formal wear for that night: White long-sleeved shirt, black long pants (which were too long for me o.0), and black leather shoes! wahahaha... i feel 20 years older wearing such an outfit! Wait, not just older, more "waiter-like" too! XD XD XD Just the 3 of us; kenwei, jiesheng, and I, the 3 "waiters" of choir! Oh, btw, we were the only 3 guys during that night's performance who wore such an attire! =P Hahaa... anyway, back to the thing. So the rest of us got changed and all. ken was dragging, so we only left at 4.10pm, which meant that if we took the bus, we wld definitely be late for the meeting time (4.30pm). Bah, nice work ken. =\ Haha... but thank goodness roy yeo *other self* was around, so his dad helped to fetch me, jac, and jiesheng along to sch to make it in time... phew. As for ken, fiona, gab, and jono, they took a cab (and made it same time as us anw o.0).

In school, I just realised how... different, people look when they are dressed up all formally and all... hah, for instance, roy *other self* looks much more mature when dressed in full white, and lynn (orchestra. all black) looked simply gorgeous in the dress *haha... i bet sky muz b damn proud* XD. Loads of other people left impressions in me as well... in their formal wear and all. Girls look prettier, guys look more handsome. Lemme think... siaw young, gene yan, asmidah, sharlene, eliza, fangyi, jiesheng *you go jac!!! XD*... haha. yea!!! So cool... seems like it ain't just the councillors that get to wear such formal stuffs during such school occasions! =)

The dress code was pretty straightforward: Chinese Orchestra was dressed in their white uniform, so were the ETSS (ear-training sight-singing) students. fibo cheerleaders and dance club had their own attire, orchestra were in all black, and choir was in white top, black bottom *hei1 bai2 pei4!* whee! Black and White! Hahaha... there were only 2 exceptions: ken and jiesheng are from ETSS, but thx to jac *and choir's lack of guys*, they've joined for the choir item as well. Hahaha... That makes 3 waiters in NUSHS! XD Haha... bleagh, not funny. =
After voice warmups, I sat there and stone as I watched everyone running back and forth: Dr Wong going out there to do last min coordinations with the orchestra and tuning of violins etc, the deco-lights team frantically rushing abt the second lvl to touch up the decors, more performers streaming in, as they scramble into their dress attire for the night. Haha... seems weird to find myself sitting there so comfortably with nothing to worry abt when the rest were rushing all the last min stuff. Was I really prepared for the Big One? Hmm...

In time to come, the visitors started arriving. The hall gradually became more and more crowded, and noisier too, which means that the performance grps cld not practise anymore. Kyros my cuzin came by at abt 6pm, and so did my parents to drop off some food for me *macs!* heh. prepared I am yes? And it seems amusing how people suddenly realise that they had no dinner for the night, hahaha...

Arts Fest night started proper at 6.40pm. MCs for the night were ms flo lee and mr jeremy ang *jang*. w00tz! funfunfun! Hahaha... 1st up were the fibo cheerleaders with their opening dance, following that was the chinese orchestra, and nicholas wong's solo yang qin piece (encore!). Then there was the orchestra and violin enrichment group (and we muz not forget theo, the wonderful whistleboy!). Then, the dance club puts up their item, followed by choir, and finally, the finale consisting of the orchestra, ETSS ppl, and choir put together to sing You Raise Me Up and NUS High School Song! There were art auctions too, and ppl were auctioned as well. XD Haha! So nice! Everything went through without a single glitch (other than screw ups within the choir. bahh...), so arts fest was more or less a success! Whee... gd job everyone! =D

I think I must have looked really horrible up there performing for choir. I heard that I looked as though I will drop dead anymoment. XD

No matter, it is all over and done with, and prolly the last piece of performance that I am going to put up for choir already! XD

Then all was done as the parents all left the hall for the refreshments, and the students all began to PARTY!! WHEE, DISCO NITE AT NUSHS!!!!!!!!!! W00TZ! XD UBER UBER UBER FUN SIA. It was just dance, dance, dance all night... well, not all night. The party only lasted less than 45mins... how pathetic. >.< but ahh, it is the 1st night that I actually got my hands (and feet) dirty with dancing to disco music - techno music to be more specific! XD hophop-clapclap! Hahaha... muz learn more cool moves. TANKENWEI, U DDR PRO! XD

Went back home, had a good shower (was sweating right down to the last bit of my body. hyped), and played com till late at night... was damn high until suddenly thejas reminded me of tmr's outing. WHOOPS! Almost forgot! >.> darn... so went to bed.

Next day... 304 (rox) outing!!!

Reached City Hall MRT at 10.15am, which apparently was too early. So I walked down the underpass to HMV to look at some of the albums on display. Then after that, went back to MRT station again and met up with all the 304 folk there (well, not all, but at least half of them! *grins*):

Me, Ching Pin, Reico, Daniel, Clement, Thejas, Ying Zhen, Marge, Charmaine, Grace, Yu Heng, and Kar Yen.

Whee, so we set off thru the underpass to Suntec City! Hah... as it was still too early to have lunch (11.30am), we all went off seperately to do our own things; the girls went shopping (i think), while the guys went for the arcade. Watched reico play the drums at the game machine... haah, he's quite gd at it! *claps*

At abt 12+, ms cheng and mr ho have arrived at suntec!!! so we all gathered back at the gathering spot and went to Marche to eat! Heh, the food there was quite gd! Haha... I think I quite enjoyed myself there, making a complete fool of myself, crapping with ching pin and reico, trying to dodge the photo shooting moments... nvr had so much fun with my class before! CHS classes were such a BORE. -.- Everything was quite nice, other than the fact that my lunch set me back 17.10 bucks... *yikes* Better not eat here too often... >.<

Had a final photo of us taken with ms cheng and mr ho! I believe yingzhen may be uploading it onto her http://www.shylock.net.tc so do keep an eye out for it! Haha!

After that, we kinda wandered and slacked for 1.5 hrs... ms cheng and mr ho left after lunch, and charmaine left shortly thereafter. We 1st went to the arcade, where we entertained ourselves by watching ppl play. Of coz, reico went on the drums again to play, naturally. I was so tempted to play, that I went to exchange my 10 bucks for 10 one dollar coins... and off I was drumming away! Whee... nvr knew that drumming in the arcade cld be soooo fun!! XD Muz come back once in a while to play!

Challenged reico in competitive drumming, and well, I lost >.<

Nevermind. The single player drumming was quite fun as well! Will never forget it... the next thing I know it, I may start to learn how to play DDR as well o.0... nononononono... muz. practise. self. control... XD

arcade soon became quite a bore for the girls, cuz they didn't want to play (or even if they wanted, they didn't seem to be taking out the cash to play). Haha, so we went out of the arcade to discuss other plans. We decided to watch harry potter and the goblet of fire, but we felt that the tickets might be hard to obtain, so that idea was chucked out of the window. Marge left later, cuz she was bz, and so after that, we finally decided to go down to marina bay to bowl *grace's suggestion*. Haha... bowling... sounds interesting. =X Later on, thejas, ching pin and karyen left as well, so the remaining few of us (me, yz, yh, grace, clement, reico, daniel) went down to Superbowl to bowl.

At superbowl, we met up with Ee Leng. hah, and she came in her SCGS bowling team shirt! Wow... didn't know that she was once in bowling cca!! =D Bowled and bowled... only played one game, cuz it was getting late and most of us wanted to go home alrdy... haha. Top score, Daniel: 206 (and he toks abt beginners luck... ya I soooooooo believe him man XD) Ee Leng came after him, and the rest clutched 2 digit scores... lol. MY SCORE SUX, second last out of 8! Me ish noob at bowling! yep, like, gutterballs like 4 times in a row, and an occasional strike once in a while... *groans*.

After 1st game, yingzhen, yuheng, grace, and daniel all left, so the last 3 guys of 304 decided to hang back and play one more game with ee leng before we leave. Haha, naturally, ee leng topped the chart. lolx... my score? Better than 1st game: 50+ o.0 Hahaha.. nvr managed to score beyond 60. sad... damn sad case sia, well, perhaps I did score above 60 once during florence's bdae party, but err... I dun think I ever recalled such a thing happening XP. Left with clement and reico at 5.30pm... rushed all the way home at 6.30, played comcomcom until damn sian, and have been blogging over the past 3 hours or so... bleargh, damn long, and I've not started my poster on logic for chiang mai, neither have I packed my stuff for chiang mai either... so screwed.

Going to pick up results on monday!!! pray hard that my CAP didn't fall that much... *closes eyes*...

*snores* zzz...

flawed...

ahh, today I feel like taking on double personalities on my post: my young, carefree, juvenile, happy-go-lucky self, and my deep, dark, thoughtful self. Hahaha... pardon me if this sounds too unbearable, but as always, if you think what I will be writing beyond this is nonsense, you will be free to close this freaking "nerd" blog and go on to do whatever else you want, hahaha... cuz after all, I love writing rubbish and all... blah.

Anyway, I think I shall start with the youthful teenage - perhaps childish self.

today hmm, council meeting in the morning... AGAIN. Bah, the exco has met 3 times in a row this week alrdy!!! Bah, so much workworkwork... =.= hahaha... nvm, shan't complain. Mostly discussed abt thursday's song dedications and friday's usher duty. yay, i dun need to do any of them! But I still got to perform for choir and stuff liddat... blablabla. hating it. >.<

finally, collected all of my papers back alrdy... in my opinion, I've done much better overall than what I expected this semester, lol (yea, my standards just keep on falling and falling and falling... -.-). Some were way beyond my wildest imaginations (bio) while some were a complete disappointment (chem). Hah... anw, I'm in da mood, so I think I shall be a little ego and just post my grades for my exams... Or at least the grade I think I got by comparing the exam score to the banding I know, If I am not mistaken:

**********************
85 and above: A+
80-84: A
75-79: A-
70-74: B+
65-69: B
60-64: B-
55-59: C+
50-54: C
***********************

I've left D+, D, and F out since it is irrelevant to me. =)

Anyway, my grades FOR EXAM; NOT OVERALL, cuz i think my overall might be quite different from my current exam grades >.< (for those that find me growing too egoistic at the moment, pls skip the next few lines...

Physics - Waves and Oscillations: A+
Physics - Optics: B-
Chemistry - Molecular models + States of Matter (combined): C
Biology - Reproduction and Inheritance: A
Math - Exponential & Logarithm: A+
Math - Statistics: A+Math - Matrices: A+
Math - Coordinate Geometry: A-
Math - Polynomial Equations: A+
English - Art of Writing: A+
Chinese - Chinese 3B: A-
History - Russia/Germany between the Wars: A-
Geography - Plate Tectonics and Hazards: A

Holy shiitte, I just realised my entire page is clustered with too many A's (argh, ego. slaps myself). Ok that's it man. I am finished *blasts myself with a bazooka, becomes un-nerdy*.

*wipes smile of my face* okok, shall leave the ego for here today *chucks ego into recycling bin*

So collect collect collect results, with alot of ppl either pulverizing the guts out of me, or shouting "GAY" at me. Ah well... can't help it, after all, i TOO NERD ALREADY RIGHT? yayayaya... all my fault. XD ANYWAY.

prof lai had a talk with the school about the purchase of books and other admin matters that will be carried out over the hols. Hahhaa... they are selling lappys!!!! *drools*... if only my dad willing to invest in it... bah. He's as stubborn as eva... feels that I will be wasting time and money on the lappy if i ever get one. Hmph. I still must try...

Oh shit, I just rmb: the sch fees have just increased! BAH. Finefine, I got cover from ESIP, so nth wrong there, but the problem is with my sis... *worries* Hopefully she gets the scholarship as well!!! >.<

played badminton and more badminton... play play play till rehersal time. Hahhaa... did I mention how much I like to sing with my other self? Hahaha... his tenor is like, uber cool (ken wei has more style in his singing though), and I like it to go with my bass when we sing "You Raise Me Up". =D Whee... the ETSS guys all roxxorz... Heh, reico, jiesheng, roy yeo, plus me and kenwei (choir), form a nice "surround" sound (quote dr wong). I wonder if the guys' voices are drowning out the girls'... *winks*

walked home with andy, as we chatted abt matters of the human mind, psychology, trust, integrity, civics and moral education, girls personalities, guys personalities, and the like. Kinda left me very very very very depressed *andy rox at this kinda stuff sia*. yikes.

Back home, and inputting alot of rubbish into espace. argh. Mapling as well *bored*. Fine, there's so much to input... argh forget it, I will continue tmr laa... bah.

Now, for the not-so-fun part. Some self reflections about me and my exams this sem. Ok, this part onwards is more personal and stuff, so for everyone, the fun stops here, and for all who simply cannot tolerate my ego nonsense abt the exams anymore can find the way out at the top right hand corner of the screen *directs* thank you very much. As for the rest of you, I've got no idea why you would want to hear me whine when I've got pretty decent marks already, but this is a self-scolding session to get my mind sorted and into order before I commit the same mistake again.

Right. Here we go.

Self praise: I am kinda proud of myself for being able to meet up with my personal expectations for the humans I've taken, like hist and geog which I've both managed to improve and reach my target, which is to score an A/A-. Heh, especially geog, since I managed to jump from my pathetic 27/50 last sem to abt 40+/50 this sem! Whee... ahhaha! Or I think the main reason is because this sem is physical geog, while last sem was human geog (yes, PHYSICAL GEOG ROX XD). Haha... bio has greatly exceeded my expectations, and same goes for my physics (waves and oscillations), and math so far has not dropped below A-. English for some freakish reason, I managed to score A+ *borderline though*, and chinese... *pauses* nevermind. Not worth mentioning anyway.

The only one which I am feeling very very disappointed with is... none other than chem *sobs*.

Ok sure, I did pass after all. What was initially a fail (49.5) turned into a pass after I begged mr chong for marks, so technically speaking, I should be happy, if not at least a little relieved. But still, that strange feeling still lingers within my heart... Bah. xing1 mo2 XD. I think this is because I feel guilty with myself. After all, chem is supposedly my best of the 3 sciences, yet it is the one and only which produced such pathetic results which will effectively screw up my entire CAP. GAH, hateithateithateit!!! Plus my high expectations... and coupled with my parents' to boot. (ok fine, they off late have not been pressuring me at all, but I always get that guilty feeling whenever I bring anything less than an A home...)

I shall cut the crap short before people start wacking me. I shall leave my post with one more analogy: Picture a diamond that has just been cut out of the ore freshly dug from the earth. It is big, fat, and of a high grade, with great marketing value. Unfortunately, there is one major scratch mark across the entire face of the diamond. Sure, one scratch only. No big deal, but just this flaw will cause the diamond to completely lose it's value... such that nobody wants it anymore. Steps can be taken to remove the scratch, but this will not evade the problem and the diamond will still lose it's value anyway...

Flawed, that's me. and I've got to get rid of that frigging flaw.

PS: pls dun hum-tum me for all this ego crap. I mean, this post is meant for my own reading, and if you wanna read a nerd's post abt exams, it is your choice and not mine. I've warned you already, haven't I? XD

so unlike me!

nerdnerdnerdnerdnerdnerdnerdnerd!!!

... no more... XD

nice blogskin!

people say I am nerd, but I guess I am just smart. =)

all over... or is it?

examexamexamexamexamexamexamexam... ARGH, the exams have driven me NUTS (bean. nah jkingjking XD). how I wish all the pain would just be taken away just as the exams will be as they pass in the coming tidal wave...

Well it is all over. Yeps, I repeat, ALL OVER. What a relief...

But is it a blessing for me really?

During the exam period, as I slugged my guts out trying to do last min cramming (which sometimes can do wonders by saving me from death), i've been dreaming how nice it would be if the exams could all just end tomorrow and I can do whatever I want after that, like slack, play online games, catch up with lost friends, chat on MSN, blablabla... I cld do all sorts of things! Just let the exams pass...

And here I am now, sitting in front of the com blogging as I reflect about how I feel about myself after the exams (but in actual fact, am doing so cuz my lvl 20 thief in maplesea is regen-ing), whether I am truly back to my normal, sane, happy-go-lucky self again. Whether the ending of the exams have really brought me the joy and freedom of mind that I have desired for so long... I keep on telling myself, "Roy, for God's sake, the. god. damned. bloody. freaking. hell. of. exams. are. ALLOVER.... It is time to relax man! Chill!" But yet, something deep down in my torn heart makes me wish that the exams did not end...

My guilt takes over me again...

No doubt, the exams were tough, difficult, and at times, tricky, and sometimes, failures and poor grades are inevitable... but what if some of these blunders could have been averted? What if these potential disasters could have been avoided, prevented, just as long as I've put in a bit more effort in whatever I do? argh... in short, I feel that I could have done much better for this round's exams than what I have finished so far. yes. disappointment sums up everything that fills my mind, and regret comes soon after... people tell me I've nothing to worry about, but that does not stop me not forgiving myself for the big boo-boos and screw ups i've made countless of times within this exam period. Here's some of the things which I really could not forgive myself for:

Bio was a breeze, not much probs there.

Coordinate geometry was the one that really got me fuming mad... it is like, f***ing difficult wth? cldn't do one entire question (10 marks gone) plus a few more here and there... bah, with some luck, my 'A' can send itself away for this module already... sigh, if I had done more revision beforehand for it, I may be able to do better for this exam.

History, was easy (at least, i think it was when compared to former history tests i've taken. thank heavens mr salim is not that sadistic XD).

next killer, CHEM. BAH. okay, chem's my fav sci, and is also the one which i think I fare in best... but yet, this time it turns out to be the greatest disappointment of my life ever... sure, redox was straightforward, molecular bondings and orbitals was okok as well, but I COMPLETELY FLUNKED STATES OF MATTER... YES. FLUNKED. as in failed. below 50%. gonecase. sad right? BAH. I HATE MYSELF. ABSOLUTE SHAME TO MY REPORT CARD. I bet even at the end of 4 yrs in nushs, I will not be able to face up to that shameful F that will appear on my report card for states of matter exam... screw it. =(

english... not much major difficulty there. Just crapped abit here and there, nth much really. I might fail if i m unlucky though *fingers crossed*

stats. what more can I say *grins*

ANOTHER KILLER: PHYSICS. But this one I more or less kinda anticipated it lol... but strange enuff, i fared better in waves and oscillations than in optics, hahaha... most probably bcoz mr ang's qns are ezier than mr lim's... >.< haha... and I was even thinking of excuses of what to say to mr ang should I fail his module. well, seems like I will have mr lim to answer to now... My optics is just as screwed as my states of matter... that's the second F on my report now, bah. I hate myself. =(

matrices. another booboo... if I had paid more attention to the finer details of it, I might have aced it. But now, all I will be getting is a pathetic grade (meaning below A band) for my matrices exam, plus the possibility of losing another A for a math module (besides coord, which is definitely gone case liao). transformations in matrices screwed me real bad >.<

geog, surprisingly, turned out ok. Hopefully i get a better result instead of my rather err, dismal results, like last sem. haha... dun bother asking me what I got for human geog last sem *angelic smile*

exponential and log was easy as well...

ended today with poly. So-so i guess. cld have made the occasional careless mistake here and there... hmm...

there you go. My screwed up life and exams this semester. Blah. I hate myself.

I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.I hate myself.

sigh... but nth i can do can change my fate now... I will have no choice but to move on. *grits teeth and stuffs broken dreams and ego into backpack*

anyway, now my greatest concern is for Love Chiang Mai: is there enuff time to prepare everything? Is the money raised so far sufficient to meet our required quota? how abt our personal safety? what if one of us gets severely injured up in the mountains, or comes down with bird flu? Bah... it is SCARING ME...

plus orientation 2006, which seems so far away, yet creeping ever nearer... we PSLs must really make it big man... BIG IN NUSHS HISTORY. XD

But in the meanwhile, I shall enjoy myself by sending myself to wonderlalaland and floating abt in a dreamworld which seems so close to reality (but yet, isn't). GunZonline and maple shall satisfy my... desire to pwn. XP *thinks evil*

But no matter... I m tired, pissed, and dissed now. can't blog any further. shall follow up with another post soon... maybe tmr, the day after, or wadeva. I can't relax in peace until that stupid optics miniproject is done with =D

*poof*

exams almost over

haiz... finally i m on my blog again... ergh, so much dust everywhere *takes a vacuum cleaner to clean up*

haha... the HOUR is approaching soon... just one more hurdle to cross, and it is wonderland after that. =)

but I shall save the juice for tmr, as i make another mega post again (you can guess roughly wad i m gna post abt tmr anyway, lol)...

No matter, wish me all the best for the last paper of the year!! XD