I don't know if what I did was right, but I cannot stand it anymore. I've done all I could, and whether she takes my advice or not, that's for her to decide. I am not going to spoonfeed anyone anymore.
Perhaps I've overrated myself again. There is no way what I provide can be a suitable substitute for a mother's love.
God bless her soul.
On a sidenote, chem oly training was boring. We revisited organic chem. Sian. Heard those fellas over at the phy oly side are having lots of fun. If only I can do better in physics... sigh. The fundamental science. =\
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Post 700
700th post. Time really flies.
Another night. Another stretch of mugging. Sigh. When will this end?
I feel really sorry for myself and my buddy. Besides the language barrier, I could hardly find anything in common to talk to him about. Sigh. What am I to do... I'm such a failure. =(
Back to work.
Another night. Another stretch of mugging. Sigh. When will this end?
I feel really sorry for myself and my buddy. Besides the language barrier, I could hardly find anything in common to talk to him about. Sigh. What am I to do... I'm such a failure. =(
Back to work.
So effed up,
Lol. Slept at like 3am this morning rushing out the manuscript for english. Well, it ain't exactly due, but I liked the idea that I am taking this speech seriously, unlike certain people in the level.
Anyway, the day started out fine: Had breakfast with the Beijing students - the first and the last time we get such fine treatment. Hahah. Then we had the morning gift exchange ceremony, which looked rather informal for such a "grand" occasion. Lol. But I guess I shall not complain. Things could have been far more complicated than it currently is. =\
Bio. Practical was quite OK. I guess doing bio is quite fun when you are not stressed over what you will get from the lab report.
Break. Was trying to do calculus worksheet. Realized just how rusty I am in calculus. Even Ching Pin is beating me in all the quizzes and tests! Blah. Must work harder. Oh, Mr Lim nabbed Lawrence and co. playing cards at the back of the library just as he was leading the Beijing guests around the hostel caterer area outside the library. Gee, what a way to show our guests the "other side of us".
Calculus. Lesson was as mundane as always. Got back our previous test, which I got owned at. Ching Pin beat me by one mark - AGAIN. Sigh. I got nothing left to say.
English is next. Benedict's speech totally rocked lah. Could see Elaine totally giving up listening to him and putting on a rather disgusted look, while Daniel threw a Macs plastic bag at him. Lol, a shame that Benedict screwed up the delivery.
Final lesson of the day: Statistics. I tell you, I've officially given up listening to lectures. At 2.55pm, I was so frustrated with the pace of the class, that as I left the theaterette to go to the toilet, I conveniently dropped by the library to pick up a stats book to read from. Was trying to look for the AP Stats book Benedict was using earlier, but I couldn't find it. So I ended up borrowing "The Cartoon Guide to Statistics". I read the physics version before, so I guess it's gonna be quite helpful to me: Someone who barely knows half of what he is talking about in class. Grr.
Council meeting thereafter - or more like a small discusion chaired by Zhong Ming. Discussed some new projects and SLI/SLW. Hmm.
Upon coming back to hostel, I was sort of glad to see my buddy and his friends hanging around the hostel area, playing cards and chatting. It sort of lifts my heart to see that they are enjoying their stay here thus far.
And you know what? I am suddenly realizing how much I love hostel life - apart from the study times and the roll calls. Now, it doesn't really matters who else from school is staying here; it is simply too convenient to be true, especially considering the year 6 AP peak period is coming soon. If only my parents could let me stay here a while longer... Level 10 is nice! ^^
Oh crap. Shall head for dinner now.
Anyway, the day started out fine: Had breakfast with the Beijing students - the first and the last time we get such fine treatment. Hahah. Then we had the morning gift exchange ceremony, which looked rather informal for such a "grand" occasion. Lol. But I guess I shall not complain. Things could have been far more complicated than it currently is. =\
Bio. Practical was quite OK. I guess doing bio is quite fun when you are not stressed over what you will get from the lab report.
Break. Was trying to do calculus worksheet. Realized just how rusty I am in calculus. Even Ching Pin is beating me in all the quizzes and tests! Blah. Must work harder. Oh, Mr Lim nabbed Lawrence and co. playing cards at the back of the library just as he was leading the Beijing guests around the hostel caterer area outside the library. Gee, what a way to show our guests the "other side of us".
Calculus. Lesson was as mundane as always. Got back our previous test, which I got owned at. Ching Pin beat me by one mark - AGAIN. Sigh. I got nothing left to say.
English is next. Benedict's speech totally rocked lah. Could see Elaine totally giving up listening to him and putting on a rather disgusted look, while Daniel threw a Macs plastic bag at him. Lol, a shame that Benedict screwed up the delivery.
Final lesson of the day: Statistics. I tell you, I've officially given up listening to lectures. At 2.55pm, I was so frustrated with the pace of the class, that as I left the theaterette to go to the toilet, I conveniently dropped by the library to pick up a stats book to read from. Was trying to look for the AP Stats book Benedict was using earlier, but I couldn't find it. So I ended up borrowing "The Cartoon Guide to Statistics". I read the physics version before, so I guess it's gonna be quite helpful to me: Someone who barely knows half of what he is talking about in class. Grr.
Council meeting thereafter - or more like a small discusion chaired by Zhong Ming. Discussed some new projects and SLI/SLW. Hmm.
Upon coming back to hostel, I was sort of glad to see my buddy and his friends hanging around the hostel area, playing cards and chatting. It sort of lifts my heart to see that they are enjoying their stay here thus far.
And you know what? I am suddenly realizing how much I love hostel life - apart from the study times and the roll calls. Now, it doesn't really matters who else from school is staying here; it is simply too convenient to be true, especially considering the year 6 AP peak period is coming soon. If only my parents could let me stay here a while longer... Level 10 is nice! ^^
Oh crap. Shall head for dinner now.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
The truth can kill.
Whew, currently in hostel. I think I better start writing my English speech soon... have been slacking for quite a large part of the day. Grr.
Anyway, the group of us hosting the Beijing kids went down for briefing earlier. All are present except Belinda, who I think is coming later or something. Haha. And Reico was telling me about some math question which I got wrong, thanks to CARELESS MISTAKE. Shit.
Must be humiliating to not get full marks for math section, especially for a guy coming from NUS High School of MATH and SCIENCE. Blah. The truth kills.
No matter. As long as I meet my target score, I am happy. And besides I wonder how bored I'll be over the next few years in NS to take the SAT again... Gee. Haha. =\
Shall go play C&C3 first. Can't stand working now. T.T
Anyway, the group of us hosting the Beijing kids went down for briefing earlier. All are present except Belinda, who I think is coming later or something. Haha. And Reico was telling me about some math question which I got wrong, thanks to CARELESS MISTAKE. Shit.
Must be humiliating to not get full marks for math section, especially for a guy coming from NUS High School of MATH and SCIENCE. Blah. The truth kills.
No matter. As long as I meet my target score, I am happy. And besides I wonder how bored I'll be over the next few years in NS to take the SAT again... Gee. Haha. =\
Shall go play C&C3 first. Can't stand working now. T.T
Saturday, January 26, 2008
SAT
I realize today just how much time you can kill by traveling on public transport.
Today started off with SAT Reasoning paper at St. Francis Methodist School - some private school located along Upper Bukit Timah Road. The first regret I had for the day, was to turn up at 7.45am just as the ADMISSION TICKET INDICATED. What a genius. As a result of my uncalculated actions, I ended up stuck at the back of the long queue of students waiting to register. To make matters worse, I wasn't quite sure which queue I should be joining, as they sorted them by alphabet and I wasn't clear on what alphabet I registered my name on (first/last name). As a result, I switched queue twice, and when I got to the front, I found out that I was still in the wrong queue. Bloody hell. Thankfully I didn't need to re-queue. -.-
SAT reasoning test took 3 hour 45 minutes in a cold, dry classroom. Well thankfully it's cold, because if it were hot and humid I think my brain would have grinded to a halt from the heat. Then again, it was so cold in there that I shivered so badly and my hands were shaking as I shaded my answers. Essay was half-screwed, and I messed up a couple of sections in the paper. Nevertheless, it could have been worse, so I am not complaining. Hopefully my target score is still within reach... >.<
I felt as if the entire test was a waste of time. By the time I was out from the testing venue, it was 1pm already. Marge was in the same testing room as I was, and I also met Grace Kng and Siming there, all taking SAT reasoning. Heard that Abi was there to take SAT subject test too. Haha.
Now here's the rather boring part. I had to get to Junction 8 for lunch and top up ez-link card, so I took 184 out of Upper Bukit Timah Road, then 52 all the way to J8. Since I left St Francis at 1pm, and arrived at J8 at 2.30pm, I spent 1.5 hours traveling on bus.
At J8, I first went to top up my ez-link and buy an ez-link card for my china exchange buddy. Then after that I went to do a bit of shopping and headed for lunch at Pepper Lunch Express. Good steak man. ^^
Then it was back on the road again, spent 15 minutes getting back home, and about 1 hour 15 minutes getting to Dr Seah's house from home. Factoring in another 1 hour and 15 minutes of time to get back from there, that makes my total traveling time today 4 hours and 15 minutes. Gawsh. Never sat on bus so long for a day before. o.O
Anyway, I arrived at Dr Seah's house 1 hour late. Gee, sorry guys! Was learning how to use SPSS. One-way ANOVA and test for normality... Heh. When the next biostats lesson comes, this will be a breeze. =P
Ate dinner at Thomson Plaza at around 8+, then went home to rest.
Which reminds me. Better start writing my speech. Tomorrow moving into hostel! Ahhh... I wonder if I will be more hardworking there than I currently am now. =\
Today started off with SAT Reasoning paper at St. Francis Methodist School - some private school located along Upper Bukit Timah Road. The first regret I had for the day, was to turn up at 7.45am just as the ADMISSION TICKET INDICATED. What a genius. As a result of my uncalculated actions, I ended up stuck at the back of the long queue of students waiting to register. To make matters worse, I wasn't quite sure which queue I should be joining, as they sorted them by alphabet and I wasn't clear on what alphabet I registered my name on (first/last name). As a result, I switched queue twice, and when I got to the front, I found out that I was still in the wrong queue. Bloody hell. Thankfully I didn't need to re-queue. -.-
SAT reasoning test took 3 hour 45 minutes in a cold, dry classroom. Well thankfully it's cold, because if it were hot and humid I think my brain would have grinded to a halt from the heat. Then again, it was so cold in there that I shivered so badly and my hands were shaking as I shaded my answers. Essay was half-screwed, and I messed up a couple of sections in the paper. Nevertheless, it could have been worse, so I am not complaining. Hopefully my target score is still within reach... >.<
I felt as if the entire test was a waste of time. By the time I was out from the testing venue, it was 1pm already. Marge was in the same testing room as I was, and I also met Grace Kng and Siming there, all taking SAT reasoning. Heard that Abi was there to take SAT subject test too. Haha.
Now here's the rather boring part. I had to get to Junction 8 for lunch and top up ez-link card, so I took 184 out of Upper Bukit Timah Road, then 52 all the way to J8. Since I left St Francis at 1pm, and arrived at J8 at 2.30pm, I spent 1.5 hours traveling on bus.
At J8, I first went to top up my ez-link and buy an ez-link card for my china exchange buddy. Then after that I went to do a bit of shopping and headed for lunch at Pepper Lunch Express. Good steak man. ^^
Then it was back on the road again, spent 15 minutes getting back home, and about 1 hour 15 minutes getting to Dr Seah's house from home. Factoring in another 1 hour and 15 minutes of time to get back from there, that makes my total traveling time today 4 hours and 15 minutes. Gawsh. Never sat on bus so long for a day before. o.O
Anyway, I arrived at Dr Seah's house 1 hour late. Gee, sorry guys! Was learning how to use SPSS. One-way ANOVA and test for normality... Heh. When the next biostats lesson comes, this will be a breeze. =P
Ate dinner at Thomson Plaza at around 8+, then went home to rest.
Which reminds me. Better start writing my speech. Tomorrow moving into hostel! Ahhh... I wonder if I will be more hardworking there than I currently am now. =\
Friday, January 25, 2008
SAT tomorrow
Sigh. Taking SAT tomorrow. I don't know why, but the very thought that this SAT will probably compromise my chances of getting admitted to US colleges really bothers me.
Ah well, perhaps I was never destined to be there in the first place. My english standard's pretty crappy, so to speak.
*fingers crossed!*
Ah well, perhaps I was never destined to be there in the first place. My english standard's pretty crappy, so to speak.
*fingers crossed!*
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Some thought
Perhaps I've been a little unreasonable with myself these past few days, and the recent bout of quizzes and tests have been getting on my nerves. Nonetheless, I shall try my best to keep my cool.
Oh, and swear less. =.=
Today was OK. Calc test a little messed up, but pass-able I suppose. No stats and PE today! Whee!! Haha, and econs was the usual. Dozed off at the middle part, but I guess that was inevitable. The content was easy, seriously.
Left for IR at NUS after class. Went to Spider Lab to see how headspace and GC was done. Mr Koh sounded tired after taking us through the meeting. Sigh. Poor him. =\
Time to go mug for SAT... Aiming for 2200, which is probably quite low and unrealistic at my current standing, but nevertheless, shall keep hopes high and look ahead.
Oh, and swear less. =.=
Today was OK. Calc test a little messed up, but pass-able I suppose. No stats and PE today! Whee!! Haha, and econs was the usual. Dozed off at the middle part, but I guess that was inevitable. The content was easy, seriously.
Left for IR at NUS after class. Went to Spider Lab to see how headspace and GC was done. Mr Koh sounded tired after taking us through the meeting. Sigh. Poor him. =\
Time to go mug for SAT... Aiming for 2200, which is probably quite low and unrealistic at my current standing, but nevertheless, shall keep hopes high and look ahead.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Only normal
Today was OK. Day started off with house meeting. Elaine was voted as house captain, and Yunhui as vice. Haha, but Elaine said that she'll let Yunhui do most of the work! Hahaha... amusing. It's good to see that we let the juniors take charge from now on. I mean, looking at things I'd expect progress to be much much better than what... *cut*
So yeah. We played some bonding games for house meeting too, like Jacob's ladder, and captain's ball. Haha... wish they had let us play captain's ball more. The video created to introduce the house background was quite cute too. *lols at Junle*
After the meeting, the Year 6s went for a talk on basic interview skills, like handshake, body posture, eye contact, etc, conducted by Ms Teo Ser Lee. Yup, the same lady that conducted the dining etiquette course for us during Day 3 of Orientation. Most of the stuff seemed pretty basic in my opinion, except that I realized that it was hard to practice it in reality. Somehow Zhao Ye got sabo-ed into doing the role-play thing when I volunteered. Haiz. I don't know what to say now. -.-
Haha Mr Ang held us back after the talk, because he thought one of us was fooling around by shining a laser pointer around Ms Teo's head during her talk, but it turns out that the laser light was caused by Ms Teo herself - and Siming accidentally took the blame of it when Mr Ang "caught" him! Poor Siming. =X
Went for SLI meeting after that. Can't say much, except for my uncertainty of how Council will progress once my batch steps down. I don't know, somehow I am getting sick of doing all this stuff. I can only hope that my advisory role can be put to good use for the remainder of my term as a Councilor.
Lunch, and then IR after that. Yuheng and I went outfield to catch spiders! Haha got my shoes all dirty and stuff (dang should have worn the old pair), but thankfully the "damage" wasn't that bad. I somehow seem to like the red-white colour combination now. So Singapore-ish. The rain in the afternoon didn't help things either, but it stopped just when Yuheng and I were done with our outfield work.
So we walked out of Kent Ridge Park and out towards NUH, chatting a bit until there was this lady at the bus stop that overheard our conversation and asked if we were students and aspiring to become doctors. I nodded, and then she suddenly started to talk about how it's good that we are setting out goals high, and the stress doctors face in their career.
At first, it seemd pretty normal, until she suddenly asked if we were Christians. I said yes, and Yuheng told her she was a free-thinker. Then, she suddenly started talking about how good believing in Jesus Christ is and that people's prayers will be answered by miracles and all. She even followed us onto the bus and told us her experience with a miracle curing her back problem, without seeking any medical attention or operations. She seemed pretty on about it, and kept telling us that it was important we pray very hard and believe in the faith, for our prayers will be answered by the ever-powerful God. In the end, she told us her church, and Yuheng and I left her at the Buona Vista MRT bus stop.
OK, I am a Christian - Catholic to be specific. I believe in Christ. I believe in miracles. I believe in Heaven. I believe in God answering our prayers. I believe in the all-powerful, everlasting God. So I should not be a cynic to question anything that the lady has told me this afternoon. Never. I never intend to question the above undeniable "truths" anyway.
However, I can't help but let my blood boil as I continued to digest this lady's story. Apparently, it seems I have a couple of ideological clashes here. God will answer your needs with a miracle if you simply pray hard enough? Is it that simple? If so, why doesn't every one do it? If people could simply solve their problems by praying, why do we still have children in Africa starving to death, wives sexually abused by their husbands, wars raging across the world from political conflict, and thousands - even millions - of men and women who die from AIDS even after praying day and night to God? Are people really so naive into thinking that just because we are so desperate to save our insignicant, transient mortal life in this world, God will just wave his hand and grant you what you desire? Ladies and gentlemen, I think that such people are really over-simplifying the role our Lord plays, and reducing our Christian faith into merely an escape from all worldly troubles.
I believe the old lady wasn't lying when she said she recovered from her back problem through a miracle. But from the way she was relating the story to me... Sigh, I can't help but feel disappointed. At least I know my belief in Christ is not so superficial and simplistic. I think I better not comment anymore, lest I invite religious backlash on my blog.
In the end, Yuheng puts it aptly: "You can go believe all you want. Just don't go around convincing others to follow it as well." I cannot agree more.
After getting back to school, we continued with IR. I busied myself trying to house the new spiders we got, while Yuheng went to change the fluid in the containers housing spiders, as well as feed the spiders. She's definitely much more efficient than I am... sigh. What can I say?
We're done at about 4.30pm, so we left the lab and went to look for Mr Allan. Talked to him and explored our options upon graduation from NUSHS. I knew that med school is hard to get into, but never did I expect it to be THIS HARD. Regardless, I think I better start working. God knows how many RJC/HCI people there are with straight A's and imba portfolios applying for med school, and that has not even covered those from other JCs and polys. Eeps. And maybe I should consider Australian medical schools as well. =\
An hour passed, and after the talk and a couple of laughs, Yuheng and I left Mr Allan to tend to Zhong Ming's scholarship application essay for MOE Pre-University Scholarship - JIAYOU ZHONG MING! Haha. Poor Mr Allan... I'd imagine he would be so exhausted from his work. =(
It was a long day, and Ros and I left for home. Talked to my parents about university plans, and I don't know what else I can say about it. In a sense, I do suppose I've had my questions answered by them to some extent, but I can't help but feel disturbed at how amazingly straightforward, yet amazing tough, achieveing my goals would become...
For the sake of clarification, I shall just state my options here:
Option 1: Enter NUS medical school and complete my MBBS in medicine and surgery.
IF OPTION 1 FAILS, then two other choices:
Option 2: Obtain overseas scholarship to go to US/UK to study an undergraduate course - most probably pharmacy, chemical engineering, or other science-related fields.
IF OPTION 2 FAILS, OR IF I CAN'T OBTAIN OVERSEAS SCHOLARSHIP:
Option 3: Settle for an undergraduate course in NUS with the same course options as in Option 2, regardless of whether I obtained a scholarship or not.
Sounds pretty straightforward right? Still, I can't help but feel my extreme lack of confidence in my abilities to achieve these goals. To quote my dad: "At the end of the day, you will be placed into where you deserve to be, and there is no need to argue about it after that."
Another thing he mentioned was my insignificance. I mean, sure I could have achieve a little here and there, but really, who gives a damn? In the end there are still dozens of others will a greater amount of stuff in their CV, a more comprehensive and robust portfolio, better achievements, better CCA records. At this point then I ask myself, am I truly special? Or am I simply another wannabe out there, attempting to do things which I do not qualify for in the first place?
In the end, I realized a fact that remains unchanged: I am only normal. I am nothing. I am nothing more than another average nobody in the sea of rising stars, another mediocre student aspiring to do things reserved for the super-elites. I am nothing but an overrated individual who thinks too highly of himself. I am nothing but a ordinary youth trying too hard to lead an extraordinary life. I am an above-average student that exists only to be out-classed by those around me who continue to present superior results through superior talents or superior qualities.
In the end, I am nothing.
Who am I?
Guess my mum's right. It's really useless to continue questioning something which I can't answer, or can't change. If I am normal, so be it. If I am average, so be it. If I am going to look like a total klutz before this circle of social and academic elites, so be it. But I will hold this promise to myself, that I will not stop trying to prove myself wrong; that even a nobody can, and will rise up one day to do the extraordinary. Till the day I die, I will not stop.
May God give me strength.
So yeah. We played some bonding games for house meeting too, like Jacob's ladder, and captain's ball. Haha... wish they had let us play captain's ball more. The video created to introduce the house background was quite cute too. *lols at Junle*
After the meeting, the Year 6s went for a talk on basic interview skills, like handshake, body posture, eye contact, etc, conducted by Ms Teo Ser Lee. Yup, the same lady that conducted the dining etiquette course for us during Day 3 of Orientation. Most of the stuff seemed pretty basic in my opinion, except that I realized that it was hard to practice it in reality. Somehow Zhao Ye got sabo-ed into doing the role-play thing when I volunteered. Haiz. I don't know what to say now. -.-
Haha Mr Ang held us back after the talk, because he thought one of us was fooling around by shining a laser pointer around Ms Teo's head during her talk, but it turns out that the laser light was caused by Ms Teo herself - and Siming accidentally took the blame of it when Mr Ang "caught" him! Poor Siming. =X
Went for SLI meeting after that. Can't say much, except for my uncertainty of how Council will progress once my batch steps down. I don't know, somehow I am getting sick of doing all this stuff. I can only hope that my advisory role can be put to good use for the remainder of my term as a Councilor.
Lunch, and then IR after that. Yuheng and I went outfield to catch spiders! Haha got my shoes all dirty and stuff (dang should have worn the old pair), but thankfully the "damage" wasn't that bad. I somehow seem to like the red-white colour combination now. So Singapore-ish. The rain in the afternoon didn't help things either, but it stopped just when Yuheng and I were done with our outfield work.
So we walked out of Kent Ridge Park and out towards NUH, chatting a bit until there was this lady at the bus stop that overheard our conversation and asked if we were students and aspiring to become doctors. I nodded, and then she suddenly started to talk about how it's good that we are setting out goals high, and the stress doctors face in their career.
At first, it seemd pretty normal, until she suddenly asked if we were Christians. I said yes, and Yuheng told her she was a free-thinker. Then, she suddenly started talking about how good believing in Jesus Christ is and that people's prayers will be answered by miracles and all. She even followed us onto the bus and told us her experience with a miracle curing her back problem, without seeking any medical attention or operations. She seemed pretty on about it, and kept telling us that it was important we pray very hard and believe in the faith, for our prayers will be answered by the ever-powerful God. In the end, she told us her church, and Yuheng and I left her at the Buona Vista MRT bus stop.
OK, I am a Christian - Catholic to be specific. I believe in Christ. I believe in miracles. I believe in Heaven. I believe in God answering our prayers. I believe in the all-powerful, everlasting God. So I should not be a cynic to question anything that the lady has told me this afternoon. Never. I never intend to question the above undeniable "truths" anyway.
However, I can't help but let my blood boil as I continued to digest this lady's story. Apparently, it seems I have a couple of ideological clashes here. God will answer your needs with a miracle if you simply pray hard enough? Is it that simple? If so, why doesn't every one do it? If people could simply solve their problems by praying, why do we still have children in Africa starving to death, wives sexually abused by their husbands, wars raging across the world from political conflict, and thousands - even millions - of men and women who die from AIDS even after praying day and night to God? Are people really so naive into thinking that just because we are so desperate to save our insignicant, transient mortal life in this world, God will just wave his hand and grant you what you desire? Ladies and gentlemen, I think that such people are really over-simplifying the role our Lord plays, and reducing our Christian faith into merely an escape from all worldly troubles.
I believe the old lady wasn't lying when she said she recovered from her back problem through a miracle. But from the way she was relating the story to me... Sigh, I can't help but feel disappointed. At least I know my belief in Christ is not so superficial and simplistic. I think I better not comment anymore, lest I invite religious backlash on my blog.
In the end, Yuheng puts it aptly: "You can go believe all you want. Just don't go around convincing others to follow it as well." I cannot agree more.
After getting back to school, we continued with IR. I busied myself trying to house the new spiders we got, while Yuheng went to change the fluid in the containers housing spiders, as well as feed the spiders. She's definitely much more efficient than I am... sigh. What can I say?
We're done at about 4.30pm, so we left the lab and went to look for Mr Allan. Talked to him and explored our options upon graduation from NUSHS. I knew that med school is hard to get into, but never did I expect it to be THIS HARD. Regardless, I think I better start working. God knows how many RJC/HCI people there are with straight A's and imba portfolios applying for med school, and that has not even covered those from other JCs and polys. Eeps. And maybe I should consider Australian medical schools as well. =\
An hour passed, and after the talk and a couple of laughs, Yuheng and I left Mr Allan to tend to Zhong Ming's scholarship application essay for MOE Pre-University Scholarship - JIAYOU ZHONG MING! Haha. Poor Mr Allan... I'd imagine he would be so exhausted from his work. =(
It was a long day, and Ros and I left for home. Talked to my parents about university plans, and I don't know what else I can say about it. In a sense, I do suppose I've had my questions answered by them to some extent, but I can't help but feel disturbed at how amazingly straightforward, yet amazing tough, achieveing my goals would become...
For the sake of clarification, I shall just state my options here:
Option 1: Enter NUS medical school and complete my MBBS in medicine and surgery.
IF OPTION 1 FAILS, then two other choices:
Option 2: Obtain overseas scholarship to go to US/UK to study an undergraduate course - most probably pharmacy, chemical engineering, or other science-related fields.
IF OPTION 2 FAILS, OR IF I CAN'T OBTAIN OVERSEAS SCHOLARSHIP:
Option 3: Settle for an undergraduate course in NUS with the same course options as in Option 2, regardless of whether I obtained a scholarship or not.
Sounds pretty straightforward right? Still, I can't help but feel my extreme lack of confidence in my abilities to achieve these goals. To quote my dad: "At the end of the day, you will be placed into where you deserve to be, and there is no need to argue about it after that."
Another thing he mentioned was my insignificance. I mean, sure I could have achieve a little here and there, but really, who gives a damn? In the end there are still dozens of others will a greater amount of stuff in their CV, a more comprehensive and robust portfolio, better achievements, better CCA records. At this point then I ask myself, am I truly special? Or am I simply another wannabe out there, attempting to do things which I do not qualify for in the first place?
In the end, I realized a fact that remains unchanged: I am only normal. I am nothing. I am nothing more than another average nobody in the sea of rising stars, another mediocre student aspiring to do things reserved for the super-elites. I am nothing but an overrated individual who thinks too highly of himself. I am nothing but a ordinary youth trying too hard to lead an extraordinary life. I am an above-average student that exists only to be out-classed by those around me who continue to present superior results through superior talents or superior qualities.
In the end, I am nothing.
Who am I?
Guess my mum's right. It's really useless to continue questioning something which I can't answer, or can't change. If I am normal, so be it. If I am average, so be it. If I am going to look like a total klutz before this circle of social and academic elites, so be it. But I will hold this promise to myself, that I will not stop trying to prove myself wrong; that even a nobody can, and will rise up one day to do the extraordinary. Till the day I die, I will not stop.
May God give me strength.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Nervous
I don't know... Somehow this world seems to be travelling too fast. Just too fast. I can picture myself screaming at the top of my voice for things to stop for just a moment, but yet things can only continue to speed up.
Test and quizzes coming up.
SAT Reasoning this saturday.
The Beijing students coming over...
Hostel stay for a week.
Homestay...
Starting to plan for college...
IR progressing double time...
God-knows what else I need to finish up for council.
Trying to make some sense out of what I am learning in Stats.
Trying to keep up during physics and calculus classes.
Trying to stay focused for bio.
Worrying about chem O training coming up.
Wondering how to juggle my speeches on top of all this.
Debate...
C.G.
Ah crap. If only I could stretch out time like a fabric and push all this stuff down one narrow hour glass. A shame I can't multitask for nuts. =\
Test and quizzes coming up.
SAT Reasoning this saturday.
The Beijing students coming over...
Hostel stay for a week.
Homestay...
Starting to plan for college...
IR progressing double time...
God-knows what else I need to finish up for council.
Trying to make some sense out of what I am learning in Stats.
Trying to keep up during physics and calculus classes.
Trying to stay focused for bio.
Worrying about chem O training coming up.
Wondering how to juggle my speeches on top of all this.
Debate...
C.G.
Ah crap. If only I could stretch out time like a fabric and push all this stuff down one narrow hour glass. A shame I can't multitask for nuts. =\
Monday, January 21, 2008
Overrated?
You know, every time I think about what I've done up till now, I always think that I'm an over-rated student. I mean, there are several students and teachers that think highly of me and all, but in the end, when I look within myself, all I see is another average, mediocre, ordinary student. Am I in denial, or is it really true that there is nothing outstanding with what I've done to begin with? A self-esteem issue? Or an overly desperate attempt to quash one's ego?
I don't know. I really don't know.
I just hope that I can live up to my life goals.
Hmm.. today I don't have anything to blog about, and I wanna get on with work, so I guess I shall just leave the blogging till tomorrow or something. For the next few days, perhaps I should put up my life mission on my blog, so that when I read it, it will be able to set some things clear on what I should work towards in my life, and hopefully, strengthen my resolve to do so.
It seems my will can only continue to crumble in face of the overwhelming odds. Then again, I could be exaggerating things for myself to make my life difficult, but then again, since when have I ever not?
*damn. No working for Euler's method. Zzz.*
I don't know. I really don't know.
I just hope that I can live up to my life goals.
Hmm.. today I don't have anything to blog about, and I wanna get on with work, so I guess I shall just leave the blogging till tomorrow or something. For the next few days, perhaps I should put up my life mission on my blog, so that when I read it, it will be able to set some things clear on what I should work towards in my life, and hopefully, strengthen my resolve to do so.
It seems my will can only continue to crumble in face of the overwhelming odds. Then again, I could be exaggerating things for myself to make my life difficult, but then again, since when have I ever not?
*damn. No working for Euler's method. Zzz.*
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Ah well...
Today's debate day! Went to SRJC in the morning to meet the rest of the team: Royston, Margaret, Ying Zhen and Alex. Was busying myself reading through my points in the morning before we proceeded for the debate. The day saw us go through 3 debates in a row, and man I tell you it is absolutely draining, and boring. I really cannot imagine how people can handle 3 debates consecutively at all. By the third debate, my mind was like totally dead, and still... and that last debate was the only one which I spoke in. O.O
Perhaps I'm not cut out for debate after all. I should have stuck to public speaking in Gavel. Sigh. Margaret would agree with me on this point.
Anyway, we had impromptu round first. Challenged RGS and beaten them. Sorta got our morale up a bit, until we lost the next two prepared rounds against CHS and ACJC. And at the end of the day (we ended around 2+pm), we concluded that the reason why we lost out in both speeches was not due to our inadequecy in debate skills nor content... but the fact that we didn't have a debate coach that helped guide us through the steps in crafting our case.
Now I am fully convinced why our debate team has been leading losing streaks since we started off in 2006. The new debate coach better come in soon... I don't wanna see another generation of debaters in our school get wasted just because they have been denied the opportunity to train under a coach like us.
Upon getting home, I was bored, so after checking my email I went to read up stuff about medicine as a career, university applications, and other post-high school stuff. It was at that point I really got overwhelemed and felt so unprepared.
Am I ready to put in the next decade to train myself for this profession? Am I ready to forgo the opportunity to spend my undergraduate years overseas? Am I ready to tackle the obstacles that will present itself should I choose this path?
On top of that, I got really really frustrated whenever I thought about the numerous people in my batch who will probably be leaving for US or UK for their university education... I mean, it's not to say I mind studying at NUS, but at the thought of them being able to enjoy life overseas while I remain in Singapore kicking around the NUS libraries, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Just a little.
I mean, I can picture on graduation day, when all the school elites gather and ask each other, "Hey, where are you heading to next?" And people will start rattling off big titles like Cambridge, Yale, Stanford, Harvard, MIT, Caltec, UC-Berkeley, Johns Hopkins, Oxford... and then when it's my turn, I tell people "I'm staying in NUS to study medicine"... Sigh. Perhaps it could be just me overreacting, but the nagging thought of sacrificing my undergrad years in Singapore really hurts, since I've always been dreaming of being able to go to the States to study one day.
I know. People would tell me that it's possible to go to the States for post-graduate studies and all, but by then, I would probably be in my 30s, possibly 40s? Going to the States then would probably be really different compared to me going as an undergrad. The experience, the lifestyle would be so different. I don't know if I am willing to give up this choice. There are a lot of other reasons behind my dilemma, but I don't think I want to put it up here. Let's just say I may not be too keen to share some details which I'm uncomfortable with.
Speak of the devil. Now this indeed is a big opportunity cost... =(
And I still want to settle down with a family of kids. If I head for overseas studies, will I even get the chance to do so? I can hardly imagine how I am going about to achieve these things. No wonder they say having kids can be a liability.
*scratches head in frustration*
Spoke with Dad after that. He didn't seem really keen for me to go overseas unless I got scholarship, and scholarships are mostly for degrees other than medicine, and I will probably take longer to complete medical course if I study in, say, the States. Life is short and I got so much I want to do. I wonder if I've got the time at all...
Damn I feel so powerless in face of all the possibilities the future holds.
Nevermind. I shall bite my tongue and go ahead with studying med in NUS - that's if I am even good enough to qualify, which I seriously doubt.
Anyway, currently tidying up eportfolio. Later still got to get on with doing math assignment and study for SAT. And bathe too. I stink. T.T
Perhaps I'm not cut out for debate after all. I should have stuck to public speaking in Gavel. Sigh. Margaret would agree with me on this point.
Anyway, we had impromptu round first. Challenged RGS and beaten them. Sorta got our morale up a bit, until we lost the next two prepared rounds against CHS and ACJC. And at the end of the day (we ended around 2+pm), we concluded that the reason why we lost out in both speeches was not due to our inadequecy in debate skills nor content... but the fact that we didn't have a debate coach that helped guide us through the steps in crafting our case.
Now I am fully convinced why our debate team has been leading losing streaks since we started off in 2006. The new debate coach better come in soon... I don't wanna see another generation of debaters in our school get wasted just because they have been denied the opportunity to train under a coach like us.
Upon getting home, I was bored, so after checking my email I went to read up stuff about medicine as a career, university applications, and other post-high school stuff. It was at that point I really got overwhelemed and felt so unprepared.
Am I ready to put in the next decade to train myself for this profession? Am I ready to forgo the opportunity to spend my undergraduate years overseas? Am I ready to tackle the obstacles that will present itself should I choose this path?
On top of that, I got really really frustrated whenever I thought about the numerous people in my batch who will probably be leaving for US or UK for their university education... I mean, it's not to say I mind studying at NUS, but at the thought of them being able to enjoy life overseas while I remain in Singapore kicking around the NUS libraries, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Just a little.
I mean, I can picture on graduation day, when all the school elites gather and ask each other, "Hey, where are you heading to next?" And people will start rattling off big titles like Cambridge, Yale, Stanford, Harvard, MIT, Caltec, UC-Berkeley, Johns Hopkins, Oxford... and then when it's my turn, I tell people "I'm staying in NUS to study medicine"... Sigh. Perhaps it could be just me overreacting, but the nagging thought of sacrificing my undergrad years in Singapore really hurts, since I've always been dreaming of being able to go to the States to study one day.
I know. People would tell me that it's possible to go to the States for post-graduate studies and all, but by then, I would probably be in my 30s, possibly 40s? Going to the States then would probably be really different compared to me going as an undergrad. The experience, the lifestyle would be so different. I don't know if I am willing to give up this choice. There are a lot of other reasons behind my dilemma, but I don't think I want to put it up here. Let's just say I may not be too keen to share some details which I'm uncomfortable with.
Speak of the devil. Now this indeed is a big opportunity cost... =(
And I still want to settle down with a family of kids. If I head for overseas studies, will I even get the chance to do so? I can hardly imagine how I am going about to achieve these things. No wonder they say having kids can be a liability.
*scratches head in frustration*
Spoke with Dad after that. He didn't seem really keen for me to go overseas unless I got scholarship, and scholarships are mostly for degrees other than medicine, and I will probably take longer to complete medical course if I study in, say, the States. Life is short and I got so much I want to do. I wonder if I've got the time at all...
Damn I feel so powerless in face of all the possibilities the future holds.
Nevermind. I shall bite my tongue and go ahead with studying med in NUS - that's if I am even good enough to qualify, which I seriously doubt.
Anyway, currently tidying up eportfolio. Later still got to get on with doing math assignment and study for SAT. And bathe too. I stink. T.T
Friday, January 18, 2008
Die...
OK I am screwed. Debate comp at SRJC tomorrow. Need to be mentally prepared to be utterly humiliated by the opponent...
Hope to get this over and done with. I can't imagine the amount of homework backlog I currently have. Plus IR kicking in doesn't really help things either.
I wonder what happened to the proposals that Mikel and I sent in.
Hope to get this over and done with. I can't imagine the amount of homework backlog I currently have. Plus IR kicking in doesn't really help things either.
I wonder what happened to the proposals that Mikel and I sent in.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Cha-Cha
Lol. Today was... well, pretty cool. Could say that was one of the better days where I didn't feel as stressed as usual. Haha.
The day started off with a free period. Yuheng was in a terrible mood today, because she lost both her stats textbook and her HDD. Ouch... she seemed really really depressed or something. Things didn't help after she read the email I sent her. Ah well, or was she just indifferent to everything? I don't know. Spent the remainder of the time cramming calculus III notes for the quiz. After that terrible experience with quiz 1, I am not gonna take anymore chances. T.T
Calculus III next. Man I swear I really hate that module now... had another quiz. Lost 2 marks because I didn't show working for Euler's method, and that was the part which I crammed for the most. Grah.
Break, and then stats. Dozed off. Sigh what to do...
Then it was break again, and then Yuheng and I went to meet Dr Seah to discuss IR. Wah Dr Seah is one hell busy woman. Like someone in particular I think. Got some stuff sorted out and directions for IR... die more work! =\
PE! We had ballroom dancing lessons. LOL. At first I was like laughing it off. I mean, they paired every guy up with a girl and got us to do cha-cha - of which I still cannot fully grasp - and making poor souls like me look like some tin can robots out there. Sigh. So much for being a dance klutz.
But I guess it was a fun and enjoyable experience. For once I am actually looking forward to PE! I mean, ballroom dancing is something special after all, yea? I still miss chanbara though... saw the year 5s having their lesson after ours.
Had debate discussion again after PE. Was still as screwed as ever. Now it seems my place in 1st team is sorta confirmed already... sigh. So much for being the long-term benchman since year 4. =\
Tried hanging on the chin-up bars. Almost suffered blisters. Wtf.
Ros seems happier now. Tried giving her a pep talk on the way home today... hopefully she will stop emo-ing about ninjado. Sigh. And in the end, that was all I could do for her as a brother. Am I useless or what? Anyway, she was giving me constructive feedback about my dancing earlier today, and was helping me practice the steps at home. My God, I can't believe I am actually PRACTICING this stuff. I didn't even put in half this much effort for the orientation mass dance. =S
Oops. I think I better get to work. Feeling tired... fatigue is gonna catch up with me soon if I am not too careful.
*************
Random phrase: "Don't bite off more than you can chew." Very useful. ^^
The day started off with a free period. Yuheng was in a terrible mood today, because she lost both her stats textbook and her HDD. Ouch... she seemed really really depressed or something. Things didn't help after she read the email I sent her. Ah well, or was she just indifferent to everything? I don't know. Spent the remainder of the time cramming calculus III notes for the quiz. After that terrible experience with quiz 1, I am not gonna take anymore chances. T.T
Calculus III next. Man I swear I really hate that module now... had another quiz. Lost 2 marks because I didn't show working for Euler's method, and that was the part which I crammed for the most. Grah.
Break, and then stats. Dozed off. Sigh what to do...
Then it was break again, and then Yuheng and I went to meet Dr Seah to discuss IR. Wah Dr Seah is one hell busy woman. Like someone in particular I think. Got some stuff sorted out and directions for IR... die more work! =\
PE! We had ballroom dancing lessons. LOL. At first I was like laughing it off. I mean, they paired every guy up with a girl and got us to do cha-cha - of which I still cannot fully grasp - and making poor souls like me look like some tin can robots out there. Sigh. So much for being a dance klutz.
But I guess it was a fun and enjoyable experience. For once I am actually looking forward to PE! I mean, ballroom dancing is something special after all, yea? I still miss chanbara though... saw the year 5s having their lesson after ours.
Had debate discussion again after PE. Was still as screwed as ever. Now it seems my place in 1st team is sorta confirmed already... sigh. So much for being the long-term benchman since year 4. =\
Tried hanging on the chin-up bars. Almost suffered blisters. Wtf.
Ros seems happier now. Tried giving her a pep talk on the way home today... hopefully she will stop emo-ing about ninjado. Sigh. And in the end, that was all I could do for her as a brother. Am I useless or what? Anyway, she was giving me constructive feedback about my dancing earlier today, and was helping me practice the steps at home. My God, I can't believe I am actually PRACTICING this stuff. I didn't even put in half this much effort for the orientation mass dance. =S
Oops. I think I better get to work. Feeling tired... fatigue is gonna catch up with me soon if I am not too careful.
*************
Random phrase: "Don't bite off more than you can chew." Very useful. ^^
Chem O
Fyi...
I got silver for SChO, and am proceeding into the IChO preparatory course together with 6 others from NUSHS. Ernest didn't make it unfortunately, but I guess that means he can spend more time hitting the physics books. =)
But somehow when the news reached me from the chemistry teachers, I didn't laugh. I didn't rejoice. I didn't jump and scream. No. I merely smiled painfully, and walked away...
What am I to do now? The second-rated individual needs to make a decision (damn the inferiority complex. Who cares?)
I got silver for SChO, and am proceeding into the IChO preparatory course together with 6 others from NUSHS. Ernest didn't make it unfortunately, but I guess that means he can spend more time hitting the physics books. =)
But somehow when the news reached me from the chemistry teachers, I didn't laugh. I didn't rejoice. I didn't jump and scream. No. I merely smiled painfully, and walked away...
What am I to do now? The second-rated individual needs to make a decision (damn the inferiority complex. Who cares?)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Second best
Perhaps that's all I am good at: Being second best in everything.
But then again could it be a blessing in itself?
I must trust that I deserve what I get, for I shall reap what I sow.
Nevertheless, thank God. =)
But then again could it be a blessing in itself?
I must trust that I deserve what I get, for I shall reap what I sow.
Nevertheless, thank God. =)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Marathon!
Yeah today was hell lot of lessons jammed right together. Real pain in the neck man. Haha. Shan't elaborate more.
Think I shall go play C&C 3 now to de-stress a little.
Am damned scared about waking up tomorrow. Still can't get used to the sensation of my muscles all aching like crap. =\
Think I shall go play C&C 3 now to de-stress a little.
Am damned scared about waking up tomorrow. Still can't get used to the sensation of my muscles all aching like crap. =\
Monday, January 14, 2008
Sigh
OK I wonder if this is the start of a rather depressing week...
Flunked a calculus quiz.
Did a bad job with English speech.
Most probably ending up in first team for debate.
Did a poor job during mock debate.
Didn't understand half of what was going on during stats class.
Sigh.
The rain didn't seem to make things any better.
I think I'll settle with trying my best to lose myself and forget everything bad that happened. Not my favourite way of getting done with things, but I guess I don't have much other choice.
Flunked a calculus quiz.
Did a bad job with English speech.
Most probably ending up in first team for debate.
Did a poor job during mock debate.
Didn't understand half of what was going on during stats class.
Sigh.
The rain didn't seem to make things any better.
I think I'll settle with trying my best to lose myself and forget everything bad that happened. Not my favourite way of getting done with things, but I guess I don't have much other choice.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Hates Nokia
Man Nokia never fails to piss me off.
Today I went down to collect my handphone, thinking that it is good that it's fixed and has been worth the one week wait.
Guess I was totally wrong. Upon collecting my phone and boarding the bus to go home, I suddenly realize my calendar function is not working. Better still, by the time I got home, I found out the active standby setting is being a real screw too. Sigh, OK consolation is that the rest of the functions are still OK and music is still playable, which means I won't be so bored during free periods in school anymore.
Sigh. KFC-U nokia.
Wait. LOL.
OK nevermind. Getting eccentric here. Better go take a shower and resume work on the debate script. For some reason I don't look forward to debate... Perhaps I would have had a more interesting time if I joined ASC instead. =S
Today I went down to collect my handphone, thinking that it is good that it's fixed and has been worth the one week wait.
Guess I was totally wrong. Upon collecting my phone and boarding the bus to go home, I suddenly realize my calendar function is not working. Better still, by the time I got home, I found out the active standby setting is being a real screw too. Sigh, OK consolation is that the rest of the functions are still OK and music is still playable, which means I won't be so bored during free periods in school anymore.
Sigh. KFC-U nokia.
Wait. LOL.
OK nevermind. Getting eccentric here. Better go take a shower and resume work on the debate script. For some reason I don't look forward to debate... Perhaps I would have had a more interesting time if I joined ASC instead. =S
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Tori no Uta
I am too lazy to blog today. *suffering from blow from SAT preps*
Tori no Uta! =D
Lia - Tori no Uta (Air TV Opening)
kieru hikoukigumo bokutachi wa miokutta
mabushikute nigeta itsudatte yowakute
ano hi kara kawarazu
itsumademo kawarazu ni irarenakatta koto
kuyashikute yubi wo hanasu
ano tori wa mada umaku tobenai kedo
itsuka wa kaze wo kitte shiru
todokanai basho ga mada tooku ni aru
negai dake himete mitsumeteru
kodomotachi wa natsu no senro aruku
fuku kaze ni suashi wo sarashite
tooku ni wa osanakatta hibi wo
ryoute ni wa tobidatsu kibou wo
kieru hikoukigumo oikakete oikakete
kono oka wo koeta ano hi kara kawarazu itsumademo
massugu ni bokutachi wa aru youni
watatsumi no youna tsuyosa wo mamoreru yo kitto
ano sora wo mawaru fuusha no hanetachi wa
itsumademo onaji yume miru
todokanai basho wo zutto mitsumeteru
negai wo himeta tori no yume wo
furikaeru yaketa senro oou
nyuudougumo katachi wo kaetemo
bokura wa oboete ite douka
kisetsu ga nokoshita kinou wo
kieru hikoukigumo oikakete oikakete
hayasugiru aizu futari waraidashiteru itsumademo
massugu ni manazashi wa aru youni
ase ga nijindemo te wo hanasanai yo zutto
kieru hikoukigumo bokutachi wa miokutta
mabushikute nigeta itsudatte yowakute
ano hi kara kawarazu
itsumademo kawarazu ni irarenakatta koto
kuyashikute yubi wo hanasu
[eng sub]
We watched the fading vapor trails
They were so dazzling, I ran away- I was always weak
I let go, frustrated by the fact
That I couldn't stay unchanged since that day
Couldn't stay unchanged forever
That bird still can't fly well
But someday she will know the feeling of cutting through the wind
The place she can't reach is still there in the distance
She gazes at it, keeping her wish to herself
Children walk along the summer railway tracks
Exposing their bare feet to the blowing wind
We place in the distance the days of our childhood
We place in our hands hope that springs forth
Chasing, chasing the fading vapor trails
It hasn't changed since the day we crossed that hill, and never will
So that we will always have it,
We'll guard the strength of a sea god, surely
The blades of the windmill that turn in the sky
Always have the same dream
The dream of a bird, her wish kept to herself,
Gazing at the place she can't reach
I look back: the sun-baked railway tracks are hidden
By stormclouds- even if they change their shape,
May we always remember
The yesterdays left behind by the seasons...
Chasing, chasing the fading vapor trails
The signal is given too early- we start laughing
So that we can always look straight ahead,
Even if it's slippery with sweat, I won't let go of your hand, ever
We watched the fading vapor trails
They were so dazzling, I ran away- I was always weak
I let go, frustrated by the fact
That I couldn't stay unchanged since that day
Couldn't stay unchanged forever
********************************
Well back to work.
Tori no Uta! =D
Lia - Tori no Uta (Air TV Opening)
kieru hikoukigumo bokutachi wa miokutta
mabushikute nigeta itsudatte yowakute
ano hi kara kawarazu
itsumademo kawarazu ni irarenakatta koto
kuyashikute yubi wo hanasu
ano tori wa mada umaku tobenai kedo
itsuka wa kaze wo kitte shiru
todokanai basho ga mada tooku ni aru
negai dake himete mitsumeteru
kodomotachi wa natsu no senro aruku
fuku kaze ni suashi wo sarashite
tooku ni wa osanakatta hibi wo
ryoute ni wa tobidatsu kibou wo
kieru hikoukigumo oikakete oikakete
kono oka wo koeta ano hi kara kawarazu itsumademo
massugu ni bokutachi wa aru youni
watatsumi no youna tsuyosa wo mamoreru yo kitto
ano sora wo mawaru fuusha no hanetachi wa
itsumademo onaji yume miru
todokanai basho wo zutto mitsumeteru
negai wo himeta tori no yume wo
furikaeru yaketa senro oou
nyuudougumo katachi wo kaetemo
bokura wa oboete ite douka
kisetsu ga nokoshita kinou wo
kieru hikoukigumo oikakete oikakete
hayasugiru aizu futari waraidashiteru itsumademo
massugu ni manazashi wa aru youni
ase ga nijindemo te wo hanasanai yo zutto
kieru hikoukigumo bokutachi wa miokutta
mabushikute nigeta itsudatte yowakute
ano hi kara kawarazu
itsumademo kawarazu ni irarenakatta koto
kuyashikute yubi wo hanasu
[eng sub]
We watched the fading vapor trails
They were so dazzling, I ran away- I was always weak
I let go, frustrated by the fact
That I couldn't stay unchanged since that day
Couldn't stay unchanged forever
That bird still can't fly well
But someday she will know the feeling of cutting through the wind
The place she can't reach is still there in the distance
She gazes at it, keeping her wish to herself
Children walk along the summer railway tracks
Exposing their bare feet to the blowing wind
We place in the distance the days of our childhood
We place in our hands hope that springs forth
Chasing, chasing the fading vapor trails
It hasn't changed since the day we crossed that hill, and never will
So that we will always have it,
We'll guard the strength of a sea god, surely
The blades of the windmill that turn in the sky
Always have the same dream
The dream of a bird, her wish kept to herself,
Gazing at the place she can't reach
I look back: the sun-baked railway tracks are hidden
By stormclouds- even if they change their shape,
May we always remember
The yesterdays left behind by the seasons...
Chasing, chasing the fading vapor trails
The signal is given too early- we start laughing
So that we can always look straight ahead,
Even if it's slippery with sweat, I won't let go of your hand, ever
We watched the fading vapor trails
They were so dazzling, I ran away- I was always weak
I let go, frustrated by the fact
That I couldn't stay unchanged since that day
Couldn't stay unchanged forever
********************************
Well back to work.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Feeling good
OK internet is currently really really laggy thanks to G.E. Gah... *waits a bit* OK things getting no better. No matter, shall just try my best to blog in this state. Lol feels weird. Anyway some random things before I contine...
Must offer my "official" congratulations to Fiona for topping the entire Singapore in SPhO. You go girl, lol. Beat Ernest too. =P
Next, I conclude that if I ever want to take a nap, I must NEVER do it on my sofa, or on any comfortable and soft surface. I tried taking a nap last night, thinking 30 minutes of rest would do me some good, and ended up I woke up only the next morning. Ros tried to wake me up last night, but I was sleeping like a log. Sigh.
AND I FINALLY GOT AN SAT PREP BOOK from the NUSHS library! Some kind soul must have returned it recently, and I've had the best of luck to just come across it. Lol, IT MUST HAVE BEEN HEAVEN'S BLESSING. *sigh of relief*
OK. Moving on...
Today was rather cool. Turns out we are meeting Dr Seah for IR next week, so I got the first 3 hours of the day free. Then next lesson was Physics E&M. Gah got owned... really out of practice for physics... need to buck up a lot.
Break, then stats. Pretty cool, because it turns those were the only two lessons of the day. And if I am not taking physics on that day, that means I have the entire morning free and only stats before CCA starts. Funky. That means can use that time to self-study or do IR stuff. Haha... but I heard from Mr Lim that there may be some changes to the timetable and all. Hmm, dunno whether to be happy or not now. I just wish that we can end school earlier. =X
People around me are going for this and that and all... make me feel so slack. Haha. Aiyah heck lah so long as I keep myself occupied I am happy. And now I better head off to wash up and do stats. Reminds me, I've to start revising for physics and bio too. English speech and debate script still needs my attention... ahh. *kills myself*
OK. Stats first. Take it slow Roy take it slow.
Must offer my "official" congratulations to Fiona for topping the entire Singapore in SPhO. You go girl, lol. Beat Ernest too. =P
Next, I conclude that if I ever want to take a nap, I must NEVER do it on my sofa, or on any comfortable and soft surface. I tried taking a nap last night, thinking 30 minutes of rest would do me some good, and ended up I woke up only the next morning. Ros tried to wake me up last night, but I was sleeping like a log. Sigh.
AND I FINALLY GOT AN SAT PREP BOOK from the NUSHS library! Some kind soul must have returned it recently, and I've had the best of luck to just come across it. Lol, IT MUST HAVE BEEN HEAVEN'S BLESSING. *sigh of relief*
OK. Moving on...
Today was rather cool. Turns out we are meeting Dr Seah for IR next week, so I got the first 3 hours of the day free. Then next lesson was Physics E&M. Gah got owned... really out of practice for physics... need to buck up a lot.
Break, then stats. Pretty cool, because it turns those were the only two lessons of the day. And if I am not taking physics on that day, that means I have the entire morning free and only stats before CCA starts. Funky. That means can use that time to self-study or do IR stuff. Haha... but I heard from Mr Lim that there may be some changes to the timetable and all. Hmm, dunno whether to be happy or not now. I just wish that we can end school earlier. =X
People around me are going for this and that and all... make me feel so slack. Haha. Aiyah heck lah so long as I keep myself occupied I am happy. And now I better head off to wash up and do stats. Reminds me, I've to start revising for physics and bio too. English speech and debate script still needs my attention... ahh. *kills myself*
OK. Stats first. Take it slow Roy take it slow.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday!
Such an unoriginal title. Well I've always been unoriginal anyway, so who cares.
Argh napped for 4 hours straight earlier... How am I gonna get to sleep? Gee... shall do assignment till I sleep. That always works.
Yay today was Wednesday = slack day. LOL. OK it was slack because: 1. mentoring, 2. school starts later, 3. AXIS talk, 4. Didn't do IR today because we were done with the SSEF report (which from the looks of it Yuheng did a lot to edit it). GC-MS got results! Woohoo we're progressing!
Can't wait for the day after our APs where we concentrate on whacking a paper out for this project. Possibly gonna be the first bio IR group to publish a bio scientific paper? =P
OK stats. =\
Argh napped for 4 hours straight earlier... How am I gonna get to sleep? Gee... shall do assignment till I sleep. That always works.
Yay today was Wednesday = slack day. LOL. OK it was slack because: 1. mentoring, 2. school starts later, 3. AXIS talk, 4. Didn't do IR today because we were done with the SSEF report (which from the looks of it Yuheng did a lot to edit it). GC-MS got results! Woohoo we're progressing!
Can't wait for the day after our APs where we concentrate on whacking a paper out for this project. Possibly gonna be the first bio IR group to publish a bio scientific paper? =P
OK stats. =\
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Writing English speech
Am in school now. School starts at 8.40am, and I arrived at the usual time, so I've been sitting in my MG classroom writing my english speech script. Man it is harder than I initially thought... Gonna have to spend a bit more time on it if I really want to make it worthwhile.
Assembly in 10 minutes. Rawr.
Assembly in 10 minutes. Rawr.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Happy Birthday!
Haha OK. Shall try to keep this post short:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YUHENG! =D
So yeah. We kinda celebrated her birthday with a cake towards the end of the day. Got quite a number of people there (the usual). Haha. Mikel, Eugene and I were there too... Mikel and I got hit with cake though. Rawr.
Oh, and I spent quite a bit of time doing self-study during the free periods today, so I feel quite satisfied with myself. Yay! Haha thing is if I can keep this up for the rest of the year...
Still fuming about the SAT books. Better start to cram for them soon, then get back to rushing stats and calc before turning attention to physics...
Wait. Bio how? Ah crap.
English speech! Die die die...
Tomorrow start school later, but I think I'll still end up reaching there early. Sigh, weird huh, seeing that as much as we want school to start later, some of us still come to school just as early. OK maybe it's just me being stupid.
Orient AAR held tomorrow morning. Heh, good thing I am not there, or I'd turn into a total asshole and shoot every other head off there already. Haha. Ah well am in no position to complain. Besides, it's over.
OK shall do the usual "late-night" cramming of stats and calculus. I seem to be, well, pretty excited about biostats and econs - something new we're learning I suppose, against all the usual math and science stuff we study. Yeah, sometimes something new can be good for a change.
Oh, and I wish Ernest all the best in getting a 5.0 CAP for this sem. Too bad he ain't taking econs though. Tough module, that one. =\
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YUHENG! =D
So yeah. We kinda celebrated her birthday with a cake towards the end of the day. Got quite a number of people there (the usual). Haha. Mikel, Eugene and I were there too... Mikel and I got hit with cake though. Rawr.
Oh, and I spent quite a bit of time doing self-study during the free periods today, so I feel quite satisfied with myself. Yay! Haha thing is if I can keep this up for the rest of the year...
Still fuming about the SAT books. Better start to cram for them soon, then get back to rushing stats and calc before turning attention to physics...
Wait. Bio how? Ah crap.
English speech! Die die die...
Tomorrow start school later, but I think I'll still end up reaching there early. Sigh, weird huh, seeing that as much as we want school to start later, some of us still come to school just as early. OK maybe it's just me being stupid.
Orient AAR held tomorrow morning. Heh, good thing I am not there, or I'd turn into a total asshole and shoot every other head off there already. Haha. Ah well am in no position to complain. Besides, it's over.
OK shall do the usual "late-night" cramming of stats and calculus. I seem to be, well, pretty excited about biostats and econs - something new we're learning I suppose, against all the usual math and science stuff we study. Yeah, sometimes something new can be good for a change.
Oh, and I wish Ernest all the best in getting a 5.0 CAP for this sem. Too bad he ain't taking econs though. Tough module, that one. =\
Monday, January 07, 2008
First day of lessons...
Before I start, I think I want to post lyrics for the following song. A bit overly optimistic and idealistic, but nevertheless, a joy to listen to (and believe in for those who believe).
Celine Dion - The Power of The Dream
Deep within each heart
There lies a magic spark
That lights the fire of our imagination
And since the dawn of man
The strenght of just "I can"
Has brought together people of all nations
There’s nothing ordinary
In the living of each day
There’s a special part
Every one of us will play
Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
As the world gives us its best
To stand apart from all the rest
It is the power of the dream that brings us here
Your mind will take you far
The rest is just pure heart
You’ll find your fate is all your own creation
Every boy and girl
As they come into this world
They bring the gift of hope and inspiration
Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here
There’s so much strength in all of us
Every woman child and man
It’s the moment that you think you can’t
You’ll discover that you can
Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here
Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here
The power of the dream
The faith in things unseen
The courage to embrace your fear
No matter where you are
To reach for your own star
To realize the power of the dream
***********************
So today saw the first onslaught of lessons... Actually it would be unfair of me to say that there was really an "onslaught", so to speak, since most of us Year 6s are either slacking in the library, dozing off at some random corner of the school, or swearing at every other thing that hasn't gone right since the timetable came out - for instance, me.
Day started with Mentoring Session. Yeah speaking of which, earlier on during flag raising I received the EAGLES award thing, which was basically a S$150 cheque from MOE for "good leadership and service). Ironic I received this for year 2005 and 2007, but not 2006. Guess that was a time for me to sit back and reflect. Or come to think of it, the Exco that time probably didn't trust me on anything for Council, so I ended up sitting on one corner of the fence. Ah well, this is what happens when you leave a bad impression as a former VP, you see.
Anyway, I am sidetracking! Mentoring session was extended up till 9am today, in view of the "many administrative stuff we needed to settle". Mr Lee came in like, 20 minutes late I think - the poor fella probably forgot. Talked to us a bit about admin stuff and got us to select MG male and female rep. Haha ended up sabo-ing Clement and Margaret. NE and CIP rep have not been selected... was supposed to settle tomorrow. Yeah got a good idea who we want in those posts. *ahem* Dom *ahem*
After that was bio - or what's left of it. Mentoring session took out half of the class, and people ponned also, so Ms Koh wasn't too happy about that. Break time came and I tried hunting for the SAT prep books in the library.
Guess what? I was too late. AS USUAL. All of them have already been loaned out to God-knows-who, and the rest of the books are either of no use to me, or are under RBR section. At least I should be grateful that there aren't idiots who would steal the RBR books... -.- OK I am going a little too far here.
Royston and co were slacking in the library and they wanted to play cards, so he ended up taking my deck to play at the back of the library, against my wishes (in full view of all the juniors, what would they think of us?!). Sigh, anyway I left them there to play their stuff and went for Calc III. Gah new teacher. Mr Tan doesn't sound too bad at first, but considering the way he set up the class at the start... ahem.
English class after that. Mr Lau teaching... well at least now it is no longer the KI stuff. Speech... aha, something I am more familiar with. =D Saw a couple of model speeches and received some handouts. Man I must really get down to preparing my icebreaker soon. *thank goodness it is not graded*
Break again, where I went to library to stone and tried to study. Couldn't do so thanks to the absolutely non-conducive environment - NUS High trademark.
Stats class next. THANKFULLY I STUDIED BEFOREHAND. I could follow the first part of the lesson, until Ms Cheng started going really really fast on binomial distributions and leaving Mikel and Eugene lost. Sorta tried to explain it to them in my words... but I don't think I did a very good job. Aye, best they go home to read lah. I should go and study soon I think... cannot waste anymore time. =(
Physics last lesson of the day... once again, THANK GOD that Mr Lim decided to be nice and let us off with no lesson for today (and Mr Tan for tomorrow), in view of the timetable issues that need to be ironed out. So today I ended class at... 3.50pm! Yeah man! And this will probably be the first and last time this happens on a Monday. -.-
Mikel and I went to do PT thereafter. Can't believe my physical condition is this bad. Must train more.
After resting, I returned home on bus. Along the way I stopped at Popular at Thomson Plaza to see if I could find anything on SAT. Asked the shop assistant, and after leading me to the ONLY item related to SAT in the entire shop, he gave me this rather weird facial expression and hurried off. I looked down at the item, and saw something vaguely similar to what I would give a 12-year-old as a birthday present. Yeah, SAT prep flash cards alright... in THIS STYLE? What the hell are those producers thinking?! Sigh, went home and tried ebookee too, but to no avail. Sigh...
Screw these SAT prep books. Seriously.
Shall go get my reserved SAT prep book from AMK library soon. Can't believe I am resorting to loaning books from the community libraries, which are so outdated. Damn I am bitching again. I think I better stop. =\
Time to get to work, but before that, a round of C&C3 would be good. ^^
Celine Dion - The Power of The Dream
Deep within each heart
There lies a magic spark
That lights the fire of our imagination
And since the dawn of man
The strenght of just "I can"
Has brought together people of all nations
There’s nothing ordinary
In the living of each day
There’s a special part
Every one of us will play
Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
As the world gives us its best
To stand apart from all the rest
It is the power of the dream that brings us here
Your mind will take you far
The rest is just pure heart
You’ll find your fate is all your own creation
Every boy and girl
As they come into this world
They bring the gift of hope and inspiration
Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here
There’s so much strength in all of us
Every woman child and man
It’s the moment that you think you can’t
You’ll discover that you can
Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here
Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here
The power of the dream
The faith in things unseen
The courage to embrace your fear
No matter where you are
To reach for your own star
To realize the power of the dream
***********************
So today saw the first onslaught of lessons... Actually it would be unfair of me to say that there was really an "onslaught", so to speak, since most of us Year 6s are either slacking in the library, dozing off at some random corner of the school, or swearing at every other thing that hasn't gone right since the timetable came out - for instance, me.
Day started with Mentoring Session. Yeah speaking of which, earlier on during flag raising I received the EAGLES award thing, which was basically a S$150 cheque from MOE for "good leadership and service). Ironic I received this for year 2005 and 2007, but not 2006. Guess that was a time for me to sit back and reflect. Or come to think of it, the Exco that time probably didn't trust me on anything for Council, so I ended up sitting on one corner of the fence. Ah well, this is what happens when you leave a bad impression as a former VP, you see.
Anyway, I am sidetracking! Mentoring session was extended up till 9am today, in view of the "many administrative stuff we needed to settle". Mr Lee came in like, 20 minutes late I think - the poor fella probably forgot. Talked to us a bit about admin stuff and got us to select MG male and female rep. Haha ended up sabo-ing Clement and Margaret. NE and CIP rep have not been selected... was supposed to settle tomorrow. Yeah got a good idea who we want in those posts. *ahem* Dom *ahem*
After that was bio - or what's left of it. Mentoring session took out half of the class, and people ponned also, so Ms Koh wasn't too happy about that. Break time came and I tried hunting for the SAT prep books in the library.
Guess what? I was too late. AS USUAL. All of them have already been loaned out to God-knows-who, and the rest of the books are either of no use to me, or are under RBR section. At least I should be grateful that there aren't idiots who would steal the RBR books... -.- OK I am going a little too far here.
Royston and co were slacking in the library and they wanted to play cards, so he ended up taking my deck to play at the back of the library, against my wishes (in full view of all the juniors, what would they think of us?!). Sigh, anyway I left them there to play their stuff and went for Calc III. Gah new teacher. Mr Tan doesn't sound too bad at first, but considering the way he set up the class at the start... ahem.
English class after that. Mr Lau teaching... well at least now it is no longer the KI stuff. Speech... aha, something I am more familiar with. =D Saw a couple of model speeches and received some handouts. Man I must really get down to preparing my icebreaker soon. *thank goodness it is not graded*
Break again, where I went to library to stone and tried to study. Couldn't do so thanks to the absolutely non-conducive environment - NUS High trademark.
Stats class next. THANKFULLY I STUDIED BEFOREHAND. I could follow the first part of the lesson, until Ms Cheng started going really really fast on binomial distributions and leaving Mikel and Eugene lost. Sorta tried to explain it to them in my words... but I don't think I did a very good job. Aye, best they go home to read lah. I should go and study soon I think... cannot waste anymore time. =(
Physics last lesson of the day... once again, THANK GOD that Mr Lim decided to be nice and let us off with no lesson for today (and Mr Tan for tomorrow), in view of the timetable issues that need to be ironed out. So today I ended class at... 3.50pm! Yeah man! And this will probably be the first and last time this happens on a Monday. -.-
Mikel and I went to do PT thereafter. Can't believe my physical condition is this bad. Must train more.
After resting, I returned home on bus. Along the way I stopped at Popular at Thomson Plaza to see if I could find anything on SAT. Asked the shop assistant, and after leading me to the ONLY item related to SAT in the entire shop, he gave me this rather weird facial expression and hurried off. I looked down at the item, and saw something vaguely similar to what I would give a 12-year-old as a birthday present. Yeah, SAT prep flash cards alright... in THIS STYLE? What the hell are those producers thinking?! Sigh, went home and tried ebookee too, but to no avail. Sigh...
Screw these SAT prep books. Seriously.
Shall go get my reserved SAT prep book from AMK library soon. Can't believe I am resorting to loaning books from the community libraries, which are so outdated. Damn I am bitching again. I think I better stop. =\
Time to get to work, but before that, a round of C&C3 would be good. ^^
Sunday, January 06, 2008
...
Dreading school tomorrow.
Can't believe it. Am reliving year 3 times now... except it will probably be much less fun, much more stress, and much more painful...
5 APs, couple of SAT tests, pushed-forward semestral exams, short semester, more physics, more math, more english, no chem, long days, long nights (homework), less games, less sunlight, more dark-days, more dog-afternoons, more sleepless nights...
Ergh. Only making myself more depressed. How shitty.
At any rate, shall try my best to work towards being a "well-rounded" youth. Not student, because there's no kick in being a "well-rounded" student. =P
Can't believe it. Am reliving year 3 times now... except it will probably be much less fun, much more stress, and much more painful...
5 APs, couple of SAT tests, pushed-forward semestral exams, short semester, more physics, more math, more english, no chem, long days, long nights (homework), less games, less sunlight, more dark-days, more dog-afternoons, more sleepless nights...
Ergh. Only making myself more depressed. How shitty.
At any rate, shall try my best to work towards being a "well-rounded" youth. Not student, because there's no kick in being a "well-rounded" student. =P
Dreads school
Remember I said a while ago that I want to get back to classes as soon as possible?
Now, I take that all back. Regretfully.
Hell to all those who are honouring triple science. *stares green-eyed at B and D classes*
NOTE TO JUNIORS: DON'T TAKE TRIPLE SCIENCE HONOURS UNLESS YOU ARE MENTALLY PREPARED TO HAVE NO LIFE AT ALL.
That's all. Time to go to one corner to sulk. =(
Now, I take that all back. Regretfully.
Hell to all those who are honouring triple science. *stares green-eyed at B and D classes*
NOTE TO JUNIORS: DON'T TAKE TRIPLE SCIENCE HONOURS UNLESS YOU ARE MENTALLY PREPARED TO HAVE NO LIFE AT ALL.
That's all. Time to go to one corner to sulk. =(
Friday, January 04, 2008
Third day
Ah so today was OK. Why? 1. The year 6s got to go out of school to attend a course on fine dining, and 2. The amazing races and invest went OK. So I guess that makes today... a good day? Lol.
Day started off with mass dance. Omg there couldn't have been a worse opener, I tell you. Mass dance comm tried to get the entire school to dance, but it was literal hell down there, really. I pity Angela. =X In the end, Mr Ang decided to take over and took the entire school out onto the track to spread out and do the mass dance together. Well... looked more depressing than animated, as the dance was expected to turn out. =\
At least the thing didn't last very long. By 9am, all the year 6s (except those involved in Orient) were up on the buses and on their way to SGCC for the dining etiquette course. Was sitting at the same table as Tian Cheng, Mikel, Eugene, Ernest, Long, and Ching Pin. Hahaha... unlike the previous occasion we had social ettiquette training, this workshop was much much better. Better ambience, better environment, more interesting trainer, and a practical session to top it off. Yeah man, and the stuff learnt were definitely much more practical I suppose. A good trade-off compared to being in school stoning during the Orientation (which is NOT supposed to involve SENIORS in the first place. Gah who's brilliant idea is this).
By 2pm, we were done for the workshop, and I left on bus to Serangoon MRT. Quite a number of people were on the same bus as me... yeah. I asked Elaine where she was heading to, and she told me she was going to city hall. Then she asked me where I was going, and I said "Oh, Orchard..." And then Yeelyn heard and said something like ooooh with who. Knew I shouldn't have mentioned anything after all. -.-
She asked me later if I have a gf, which apparently I don't (yeah still single. Sigh). Anyway I don't blame anyone. I would have asked the same thing if someone like... Bryan, told me he was heading to Orchard alone. ^^
Oh, Gnia and co. were there too. Apparently they were heading to city hall too. Hmm. One of the few times I actually talked to them. Ah well. Anti-social me I guess.
Reached Orchard MRT and headed to Wheelock Place to send my phone for servicing. Yeah. Nokia sucks. Don't remind me. Samsung/Sony Ericsson owns anytime. There was quite a significant queue when I got there, and I ended up spending close to an hour there: 10 minutes getting my phone registered for servicing at the service counter, and 50 minutes waiting. Sucks lah, but it could have been worse. At one point when I was waiting, the queue waiting at the info counter DOUBLED in length compared to when I started queueing there, so there were like, a dozen people at least in the queue? Damn now we know how buggy Nokia is, eh? =P
After I was done, there was heavy rain outside, so I had to walk through the rain to get back to the MRT to take a ride back to Bishan. Went to pick up my specs along the way home... Hurray! New look - and probably better than the blue frame last time anyway (I think). Still need to get used to staring into such slim lenses. =D
Played com and took a nap until evening 7+, where my mum and I went out to pick my dad and sis. Ros was at Orientation and invest was just over. Heard the last mass dance done by the juniors was terrific. Well, good for them. At least the juniors did dance. It's their dance after all.
Orient over. Lots of comments - none I will say. Oh, and good luck to the next team planning orientation - whoever you all are. I got a feeling they are gonna need lots and lots of it.
For once, I find it more attractive to get back to school work. Sigh, what have I become... =.=
Day started off with mass dance. Omg there couldn't have been a worse opener, I tell you. Mass dance comm tried to get the entire school to dance, but it was literal hell down there, really. I pity Angela. =X In the end, Mr Ang decided to take over and took the entire school out onto the track to spread out and do the mass dance together. Well... looked more depressing than animated, as the dance was expected to turn out. =\
At least the thing didn't last very long. By 9am, all the year 6s (except those involved in Orient) were up on the buses and on their way to SGCC for the dining etiquette course. Was sitting at the same table as Tian Cheng, Mikel, Eugene, Ernest, Long, and Ching Pin. Hahaha... unlike the previous occasion we had social ettiquette training, this workshop was much much better. Better ambience, better environment, more interesting trainer, and a practical session to top it off. Yeah man, and the stuff learnt were definitely much more practical I suppose. A good trade-off compared to being in school stoning during the Orientation (which is NOT supposed to involve SENIORS in the first place. Gah who's brilliant idea is this).
By 2pm, we were done for the workshop, and I left on bus to Serangoon MRT. Quite a number of people were on the same bus as me... yeah. I asked Elaine where she was heading to, and she told me she was going to city hall. Then she asked me where I was going, and I said "Oh, Orchard..." And then Yeelyn heard and said something like ooooh with who. Knew I shouldn't have mentioned anything after all. -.-
She asked me later if I have a gf, which apparently I don't (yeah still single. Sigh). Anyway I don't blame anyone. I would have asked the same thing if someone like... Bryan, told me he was heading to Orchard alone. ^^
Oh, Gnia and co. were there too. Apparently they were heading to city hall too. Hmm. One of the few times I actually talked to them. Ah well. Anti-social me I guess.
Reached Orchard MRT and headed to Wheelock Place to send my phone for servicing. Yeah. Nokia sucks. Don't remind me. Samsung/Sony Ericsson owns anytime. There was quite a significant queue when I got there, and I ended up spending close to an hour there: 10 minutes getting my phone registered for servicing at the service counter, and 50 minutes waiting. Sucks lah, but it could have been worse. At one point when I was waiting, the queue waiting at the info counter DOUBLED in length compared to when I started queueing there, so there were like, a dozen people at least in the queue? Damn now we know how buggy Nokia is, eh? =P
After I was done, there was heavy rain outside, so I had to walk through the rain to get back to the MRT to take a ride back to Bishan. Went to pick up my specs along the way home... Hurray! New look - and probably better than the blue frame last time anyway (I think). Still need to get used to staring into such slim lenses. =D
Played com and took a nap until evening 7+, where my mum and I went out to pick my dad and sis. Ros was at Orientation and invest was just over. Heard the last mass dance done by the juniors was terrific. Well, good for them. At least the juniors did dance. It's their dance after all.
Orient over. Lots of comments - none I will say. Oh, and good luck to the next team planning orientation - whoever you all are. I got a feeling they are gonna need lots and lots of it.
For once, I find it more attractive to get back to school work. Sigh, what have I become... =.=
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Second day
Well today was... well, not much difference, but at least it couldn't have been worse. =\
Day started off when I got to school and went straight to the council room to sit down and take a break. Saw loads of SLs crowding around the area fussing over the t-shirts. Apparently there was some mess-up regarding the shirts distributions and stuff, so they had quite a bit of hell trying to sort things out. Sigh pity them. So I just sat there and stoned until assembly started.
Gosh, and they just had to dump in talks to start the day too. Briefing on lab safety and proper IT use... blah blah. Then have to sign forms - again. Hahaha. Then we had break and then mass dance - I have no comment anymore. Nothing. If I say anything, I doubt people are gonna like what I say, so best say nothing at all. On the bright side, I did try to dance a bit, though it seemed as if I was fooling around by myself. Mikel tried and gave up, and Ching Pin STONED. Lol. =)
After that rather chaotic dance session was the school cheers segment. Yeah in Orientation, school cheers is always the most dreaded part, because it seems as if we could hardly pull a good one off for the past few years or so. Well the SLs did put up a good effort teaching though, so kudos to them. A shame that those half-assed year 4 guys were making a fool out of themselves half the time... Mikel lost his cool later on in the session and shouted at them, and they still had the cheek to "whoa" back. Riiight. Well perhaps Mikel was just pissed throughout the entire thing, seeing that the both of us didn't have much to say for the progress of Orientation 2008 so far.
And once again, we both learnt that it's best we make no comments about the things going on at the moment. I suppose we know we are hated enough by several people and will have more hating us if we just poured cold water over the situation. Well hopefully I am wrong about things and it will get better on the last day. Amazing races and the invest... those CANNOT go wrong - I hope I am right on that.
Anyway, lunch came after that. I went to the library to sleep because I was feeling rather moody then. Mikel and Ching Pin meanwhile were with me in the library, using my com to surf net. Oh, speaking about the laptop, I tried logging into the module registration thing at 10am, when it was scheduled to open, and just when I clicked when the timer reached zero... LAG OUT. SCHOOL SERVER MUST HAVE OVERLOADED FROM EVERYONE ACCESSING ALL AT ONCE.
In the end, they delayed the module selection 3 hours, till 1pm. And what I heard from people was that within 5 minutes of the opening, some of the more interesting electives had no vacancies left - examples include computer science, and economics! Can you believe that? SO FAST. And there were people like rushing to the com labs and using the library coms to do module registration too! Hahaha... don't blame them for being kiasu. They have to if they want to take the good modules anyway. The sad reality of our school. =\
Afternoon college counselling talk was by this lady from NUS Career Centre. Talk was quite interesting, but didn't pick up anything solid to take home. I mean, can't expect much if it was just a single talk session, yeah.
After the talk, some of the year 6s headed off to man their booths for the CCA fair, while the rest of us went up to the com labs to brush up our eportfolio under the guidance of our mentors - that's when I saw the entire com lab full of people signing up for their modules lol. That time was one of the most well-spent times, when I did both my module registration and eportfolio tidying up. I could have stayed on longer to do more work, but somehow our mentors requested that we all leave at 2.30pm. Not sure why too. Haha, anyway, then Mr Lee told us that he didn't have anything left for us that afternoon, so we were free to go after we submitted our consent forms! Woohoo! Left school at 3pm!
Oh no... I found out midway through the day that my handphone has died on me. Looks like I got to send it for servicing already. Screw Nokia man.
Can't wait! Dismissal at 2pm at Serangoon, then going to Wheelock Place tomorrow and picking up my new specs. If only I could do stuff like this every friday: go out and have a nice decent meal by myself or with friends, and go do stuff I've never really done often. In fact, I'm currently studying statistics every night on a regular basis. If only I could carry this momentum forward for the rest of the year... sigh.
Enough chatter. Back to work, emo kid. xD
Day started off when I got to school and went straight to the council room to sit down and take a break. Saw loads of SLs crowding around the area fussing over the t-shirts. Apparently there was some mess-up regarding the shirts distributions and stuff, so they had quite a bit of hell trying to sort things out. Sigh pity them. So I just sat there and stoned until assembly started.
Gosh, and they just had to dump in talks to start the day too. Briefing on lab safety and proper IT use... blah blah. Then have to sign forms - again. Hahaha. Then we had break and then mass dance - I have no comment anymore. Nothing. If I say anything, I doubt people are gonna like what I say, so best say nothing at all. On the bright side, I did try to dance a bit, though it seemed as if I was fooling around by myself. Mikel tried and gave up, and Ching Pin STONED. Lol. =)
After that rather chaotic dance session was the school cheers segment. Yeah in Orientation, school cheers is always the most dreaded part, because it seems as if we could hardly pull a good one off for the past few years or so. Well the SLs did put up a good effort teaching though, so kudos to them. A shame that those half-assed year 4 guys were making a fool out of themselves half the time... Mikel lost his cool later on in the session and shouted at them, and they still had the cheek to "whoa" back. Riiight. Well perhaps Mikel was just pissed throughout the entire thing, seeing that the both of us didn't have much to say for the progress of Orientation 2008 so far.
And once again, we both learnt that it's best we make no comments about the things going on at the moment. I suppose we know we are hated enough by several people and will have more hating us if we just poured cold water over the situation. Well hopefully I am wrong about things and it will get better on the last day. Amazing races and the invest... those CANNOT go wrong - I hope I am right on that.
Anyway, lunch came after that. I went to the library to sleep because I was feeling rather moody then. Mikel and Ching Pin meanwhile were with me in the library, using my com to surf net. Oh, speaking about the laptop, I tried logging into the module registration thing at 10am, when it was scheduled to open, and just when I clicked when the timer reached zero... LAG OUT. SCHOOL SERVER MUST HAVE OVERLOADED FROM EVERYONE ACCESSING ALL AT ONCE.
In the end, they delayed the module selection 3 hours, till 1pm. And what I heard from people was that within 5 minutes of the opening, some of the more interesting electives had no vacancies left - examples include computer science, and economics! Can you believe that? SO FAST. And there were people like rushing to the com labs and using the library coms to do module registration too! Hahaha... don't blame them for being kiasu. They have to if they want to take the good modules anyway. The sad reality of our school. =\
Afternoon college counselling talk was by this lady from NUS Career Centre. Talk was quite interesting, but didn't pick up anything solid to take home. I mean, can't expect much if it was just a single talk session, yeah.
After the talk, some of the year 6s headed off to man their booths for the CCA fair, while the rest of us went up to the com labs to brush up our eportfolio under the guidance of our mentors - that's when I saw the entire com lab full of people signing up for their modules lol. That time was one of the most well-spent times, when I did both my module registration and eportfolio tidying up. I could have stayed on longer to do more work, but somehow our mentors requested that we all leave at 2.30pm. Not sure why too. Haha, anyway, then Mr Lee told us that he didn't have anything left for us that afternoon, so we were free to go after we submitted our consent forms! Woohoo! Left school at 3pm!
Oh no... I found out midway through the day that my handphone has died on me. Looks like I got to send it for servicing already. Screw Nokia man.
Can't wait! Dismissal at 2pm at Serangoon, then going to Wheelock Place tomorrow and picking up my new specs. If only I could do stuff like this every friday: go out and have a nice decent meal by myself or with friends, and go do stuff I've never really done often. In fact, I'm currently studying statistics every night on a regular basis. If only I could carry this momentum forward for the rest of the year... sigh.
Enough chatter. Back to work, emo kid. xD
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
First day
So this is how it feels like being an apathetic high school student...
Or then again, I may be exaggerating things.
Normally, I'd have lots to blog about for the first day of school. I mean, it's like, people return after the hols, meet again and catch up on stuff and sorts. But more importantly, Orientation programme is often the key highlight of the day and most of the time will always be fun, exciting, and... the likes.
However I can't say the same for this Orientation, no matter how hard I try. Or perhaps I've been a little unfair. This is just the start, and we still have 2 days to go. Most of the stuff today were just talks, talks, talks. Ahh...
Mass dance... I still can't believe I completely stepped out of the thing. Didn't even bother to try learning how to dance. I don't know what's gotten into me, but this... feeling. I can't describe. Mikel didn't dance either, because he didn't like the dance, but then again, he didn't like the dance last year either, (If we could be together)but he still danced. So did I, but this... Sigh. Maybe I should try to dance tomorrow. Can't stay emo all day.
The orientation comm better do a damned good job with the juniors. Damned good it better be.
And it continues to perplex me. Why? How come we decided to it be passed on, yet some just don't want to let go? Or is it just me being overly sensitive about things. Then again I hardly want to believe my gut instincts can be wrong...
Nah I thought it through. Perhaps it's just pure initiative. I cannot let that be mixed with other uninvolved entities. Besides, I kinda like things this way too - the feeling that our work is finally carried on.
Sigh. No wonder it's so much easier being a poor, apathetic soul.
Shall return to my state of "stone"-ness tomorrow. More talks. More boredom. More "zzz".
Module sign-up tomorrow morning. About time. Work begins soon...
Oh, thanks Kar Yen and Yu Heng for the X'mas gift! ^^
Or then again, I may be exaggerating things.
Normally, I'd have lots to blog about for the first day of school. I mean, it's like, people return after the hols, meet again and catch up on stuff and sorts. But more importantly, Orientation programme is often the key highlight of the day and most of the time will always be fun, exciting, and... the likes.
However I can't say the same for this Orientation, no matter how hard I try. Or perhaps I've been a little unfair. This is just the start, and we still have 2 days to go. Most of the stuff today were just talks, talks, talks. Ahh...
Mass dance... I still can't believe I completely stepped out of the thing. Didn't even bother to try learning how to dance. I don't know what's gotten into me, but this... feeling. I can't describe. Mikel didn't dance either, because he didn't like the dance, but then again, he didn't like the dance last year either, (If we could be together)but he still danced. So did I, but this... Sigh. Maybe I should try to dance tomorrow. Can't stay emo all day.
The orientation comm better do a damned good job with the juniors. Damned good it better be.
Nah I thought it through. Perhaps it's just pure initiative. I cannot let that be mixed with other uninvolved entities. Besides, I kinda like things this way too - the feeling that our work is finally carried on.
Sigh. No wonder it's so much easier being a poor, apathetic soul.
Shall return to my state of "stone"-ness tomorrow. More talks. More boredom. More "zzz".
Module sign-up tomorrow morning. About time. Work begins soon...
Oh, thanks Kar Yen and Yu Heng for the X'mas gift! ^^
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Happy New Year!
I know it's kinda late, but HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! All the best for 2008! =)
This reminds me of a song. Lol. Shall put the lyrics here.
The Click Five - Happy Birthday
Hey you
I know I'm in the wrong
Time flies
When you're having fun
You wake up
Another year is gone
You're twenty-one
I guess you wanna know
Why I'm on the phone
It's been a day or so
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
Yeah yeah whoa oh
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
So hard
When you're far away
It's lame but I forgot the date
I won't make the same mistake
I'm so to blame
Now you know
Don't hang up the phone
I wish I was at home
I know it's way too late
But happy birthday
Yeah yeah whoa oh
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
It's not that I don't care
You know I'll make it up to you
If I could I'd be there
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
Yeah yeah whoa oh
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
To you
**********************
Anyway, a couple of things to do at the moment...
Sort my stuff out
Write down new year resolution
Complete forms for IR
Think about English speech
Study
Slack
Sleep early
Think I shall settle the new year resoulution now. Let's see...
NEW YEAR RESOLUTION FOR YEAR 2008
Personal: In order to make a difference to the world, the difference should start from oneself. As such, this year's focus shall be on - you guessed it - the self. I'll work towards improving my personality and character as the first step to accomplish many things to come.
Academics: What's so good about a CAP score? A better stead in future career options? A sign of academic excellence? For the past 3 years, I've unknowingly sacrificed the joy of learning - over a couple of grades. Worth it? I shall spend this last year of high school education trying my best to enjoy what I study. Yeah, try. Never said it's gonna be easy, but no harm giving it a shot I guess.
Family: Not much change. Hope to spend more time with my family.
Friends: To try to be nicer to many of them, and wash away as many prejudices I once held about them (however, I doubt lost trust comes under this category)
Council: Ensure my committee is passed down into good hands to continue our "legacy", and to see the smooth transition of the Council entirely to the juniors. The year 6s have done more than enough for this Council. I suppose it is time to let Zhong Ming's batch take control now.
School: Complete my duty as a pioneer of NUSHS before I graduate - sort of fulfilling my obligation towards the school.
Community/National: ???
I think I am done. My table is in a mess. I really should get about packing the stuff now.
Later.
This reminds me of a song. Lol. Shall put the lyrics here.
The Click Five - Happy Birthday
Hey you
I know I'm in the wrong
Time flies
When you're having fun
You wake up
Another year is gone
You're twenty-one
I guess you wanna know
Why I'm on the phone
It's been a day or so
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
Yeah yeah whoa oh
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
So hard
When you're far away
It's lame but I forgot the date
I won't make the same mistake
I'm so to blame
Now you know
Don't hang up the phone
I wish I was at home
I know it's way too late
But happy birthday
Yeah yeah whoa oh
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
It's not that I don't care
You know I'll make it up to you
If I could I'd be there
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
Yeah yeah whoa oh
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
To you
**********************
Anyway, a couple of things to do at the moment...
Sort my stuff out
Write down new year resolution
Complete forms for IR
Think about English speech
Study
Slack
Sleep early
Think I shall settle the new year resoulution now. Let's see...
NEW YEAR RESOLUTION FOR YEAR 2008
Personal: In order to make a difference to the world, the difference should start from oneself. As such, this year's focus shall be on - you guessed it - the self. I'll work towards improving my personality and character as the first step to accomplish many things to come.
Academics: What's so good about a CAP score? A better stead in future career options? A sign of academic excellence? For the past 3 years, I've unknowingly sacrificed the joy of learning - over a couple of grades. Worth it? I shall spend this last year of high school education trying my best to enjoy what I study. Yeah, try. Never said it's gonna be easy, but no harm giving it a shot I guess.
Family: Not much change. Hope to spend more time with my family.
Friends: To try to be nicer to many of them, and wash away as many prejudices I once held about them (however, I doubt lost trust comes under this category)
Council: Ensure my committee is passed down into good hands to continue our "legacy", and to see the smooth transition of the Council entirely to the juniors. The year 6s have done more than enough for this Council. I suppose it is time to let Zhong Ming's batch take control now.
School: Complete my duty as a pioneer of NUSHS before I graduate - sort of fulfilling my obligation towards the school.
Community/National: ???
I think I am done. My table is in a mess. I really should get about packing the stuff now.
Later.
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