After talking to Reico, I feel my interest in the PSP just died.
I wonder what to use that money on now... Hmm.
Oh no. English report how. -.-
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Whee!
Omg I am going hyper on CIG. I guess I'm starting to really like posting stuff on the groups. Never felt it was this fun before (much more productive than watching anime, though admittedly I am currently juggling Code Geass R2, Death Note, and Last Exile at the same time now).
Was looking at some of the qualitative analysis practical prep problems for this year's IChO. One word: GAY.
I'm finally thanking God that I am not selected for the thing. >.<
I am suddenly looking forward to internships again. Who cares if I am not studying ahead in NUS modules. I am sick of studies. Repeat: SICK of studies. I'm not paying 500+ bucks to subscribe myself to 4 hours per week of torture, or dozing off in lecture halls/labs. No. I guess I personally prefer to leave the studying till later and doing what really interests me, like reading up random topics for sciences.
Lets see, 20 bucks a day at internship. That means 60 bucks a week, plus an additional 10 bucks on Saturday. Multiply that by 6 weeks gives me more than 360 bucks...
Anything good to buy with that amount of cash?
Hope someone sponsors me a PSP or something.
Was looking at some of the qualitative analysis practical prep problems for this year's IChO. One word: GAY.
I'm finally thanking God that I am not selected for the thing. >.<
I am suddenly looking forward to internships again. Who cares if I am not studying ahead in NUS modules. I am sick of studies. Repeat: SICK of studies. I'm not paying 500+ bucks to subscribe myself to 4 hours per week of torture, or dozing off in lecture halls/labs. No. I guess I personally prefer to leave the studying till later and doing what really interests me, like reading up random topics for sciences.
Lets see, 20 bucks a day at internship. That means 60 bucks a week, plus an additional 10 bucks on Saturday. Multiply that by 6 weeks gives me more than 360 bucks...
Anything good to buy with that amount of cash?
Hope someone sponsors me a PSP or something.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
DSA test
Today I went down to NUSHS to help out for the DSA test administration. Was running around setting up stuff, etc. Quite boring though... as if the whole school was dead like that.
Come to think of it, I've been distancing myself from the school a hell lot ever since I entered year 6, and after I left student council... Not gonna say much about it though. I'll save my comments for sometime later.
CIG! Ahh. How how how. Looks like things are stagnating again. Well, I just have to do my job and hope things are good. Besides, 18 members from the initial 4 is already quite an extension... haha. =)
Oh did I mention? I met my target for SAT 1, so I doubt I will retake again... though I might just take once more at the end of year before NS to see if I can hit 2200 (yeah yeah I know I'm supposed to be aiming higher, but well). Unlikely though, considering I've received crappy grades for my essay component again. Haiz... Perhaps I am just destined not to go US. =X
My choices seem to be narrowing down for some weird reason. Or perhaps my mind's the one that is limiting it?
IChO practical training starts next week, and I've not prepared again. Not even sure on what kind of stuff to expect. Man 5 whole days of intensive practicals... this is gonna be kinda scary.
Oh, I just started watching Last Exile too. It's... well, interesting. And fancy animations too. XD
And something really stupid happened to me today. I was crossing the exit of a carpark at Clementi Central, when the raised gate came crashing down upon my head. Didn't hurt much, but must have looked damn retarded. Don't ask me how the hell that happened.
Now back to IR...
Come to think of it, I've been distancing myself from the school a hell lot ever since I entered year 6, and after I left student council... Not gonna say much about it though. I'll save my comments for sometime later.
CIG! Ahh. How how how. Looks like things are stagnating again. Well, I just have to do my job and hope things are good. Besides, 18 members from the initial 4 is already quite an extension... haha. =)
Oh did I mention? I met my target for SAT 1, so I doubt I will retake again... though I might just take once more at the end of year before NS to see if I can hit 2200 (yeah yeah I know I'm supposed to be aiming higher, but well). Unlikely though, considering I've received crappy grades for my essay component again. Haiz... Perhaps I am just destined not to go US. =X
My choices seem to be narrowing down for some weird reason. Or perhaps my mind's the one that is limiting it?
IChO practical training starts next week, and I've not prepared again. Not even sure on what kind of stuff to expect. Man 5 whole days of intensive practicals... this is gonna be kinda scary.
Oh, I just started watching Last Exile too. It's... well, interesting. And fancy animations too. XD
And something really stupid happened to me today. I was crossing the exit of a carpark at Clementi Central, when the raised gate came crashing down upon my head. Didn't hurt much, but must have looked damn retarded. Don't ask me how the hell that happened.
Now back to IR...
Friday, June 27, 2008
Random post
Bloop. Yeah this is random alright.
How ironic. I was intending to pon chem O training, banking on internship as an excuse, but now that internship has been pushed back one week, not only do I have to go for all the training, but I also have to miss Youth Day celebrations in school. Well, not that I'm very active on that day anyway... *wishes to find tiny corner in school to sleep/slack*
Well, on the bright side, this means I can go for MOE Excel Fest on Sat morning, and attend PSC fair with piece of mind after that. =P
Now the only thing left to worry about, is the amount of homework I'll get over the two days of school I'll be missing. =X
How ironic. I was intending to pon chem O training, banking on internship as an excuse, but now that internship has been pushed back one week, not only do I have to go for all the training, but I also have to miss Youth Day celebrations in school. Well, not that I'm very active on that day anyway... *wishes to find tiny corner in school to sleep/slack*
Well, on the bright side, this means I can go for MOE Excel Fest on Sat morning, and attend PSC fair with piece of mind after that. =P
Now the only thing left to worry about, is the amount of homework I'll get over the two days of school I'll be missing. =X
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Omg!
OMG I don't care what other people think now: Shuffle! is not as bad as I thought after all! In fact, in Ching Pin's words, "The character development is imba!"
Full marks for that one. =P
Today... went outfield with YZ and YH to collect fluid and spiders. Then went back to the lab in school to feed spiders and do some spring cleaning. Heh. Later on went to NUS with Dr Seah and Mr Koh to return some containers to the lab.
Went gym after that too... Gah. I really am not conditioned to run.
After coming home I started playing Company of Heroes and finished the collection of medals. Haha yes finally "completed" the game! XD
Then dinner, and watched the last few episodes of Shuffle! Great ending - for anime of this "nature" - and lol for Asa and Rin. I still kinda pity Kaede though... think she was in a pretty sorry plight towards the end of the whole thing.
OK enough rants. This means I'll continue with Death Note...
Or maybe I should take a break? The anime's getting to my head now... scared I become an otaku. HOW. >.<
And all my homework is like, not done. Ergh. So slack...
Lets see what else needs doing. Hmm...
Full marks for that one. =P
Today... went outfield with YZ and YH to collect fluid and spiders. Then went back to the lab in school to feed spiders and do some spring cleaning. Heh. Later on went to NUS with Dr Seah and Mr Koh to return some containers to the lab.
Went gym after that too... Gah. I really am not conditioned to run.
After coming home I started playing Company of Heroes and finished the collection of medals. Haha yes finally "completed" the game! XD
Then dinner, and watched the last few episodes of Shuffle! Great ending - for anime of this "nature" - and lol for Asa and Rin. I still kinda pity Kaede though... think she was in a pretty sorry plight towards the end of the whole thing.
OK enough rants. This means I'll continue with Death Note...
Or maybe I should take a break? The anime's getting to my head now... scared I become an otaku. HOW. >.<
And all my homework is like, not done. Ergh. So slack...
Lets see what else needs doing. Hmm...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Just thoughts
I'm gonna keep this post short, so I'll just post my short thoughts for events today...
Lanxess award goes only to the 4 people going for IChO this year... was a little disappointed that the reserves do not get a share. Oh well, who am I to complain? I guess that's just one less thing to go on my SDT.
And yay! I got dental internship! =)
It's such a shame we don't get paid to do this though. I'd imagine I'll make more money working for, say, Starbucks. XD
QM! I'm so glad I didn't drop it... I've faith I will do my best for the module! Maybe even better than chem ahahaha! XD
*looks at final timetable*... OH shit. I'm ending at 6pm EARLIEST everyday, and have half-day of work on Saturday. How the hell am I suppose to survive with all the homework, and how am I going to fit a volunteer programme inside there too? This is just insane...
Shuffle! Omg so the plot isn't THAT BAD after all... For one moment I was convinced the whole thing was just random rubbish. Still have 5 more episodes till I finish the series. =)
I'm so gonna die this semester... but I want to ensure that I die smiling, or more importantly - in the words of the Imperial Guard - "die standing". =P
Lanxess award goes only to the 4 people going for IChO this year... was a little disappointed that the reserves do not get a share. Oh well, who am I to complain? I guess that's just one less thing to go on my SDT.
And yay! I got dental internship! =)
It's such a shame we don't get paid to do this though. I'd imagine I'll make more money working for, say, Starbucks. XD
QM! I'm so glad I didn't drop it... I've faith I will do my best for the module! Maybe even better than chem ahahaha! XD
*looks at final timetable*... OH shit. I'm ending at 6pm EARLIEST everyday, and have half-day of work on Saturday. How the hell am I suppose to survive with all the homework, and how am I going to fit a volunteer programme inside there too? This is just insane...
Shuffle! Omg so the plot isn't THAT BAD after all... For one moment I was convinced the whole thing was just random rubbish. Still have 5 more episodes till I finish the series. =)
I'm so gonna die this semester... but I want to ensure that I die smiling, or more importantly - in the words of the Imperial Guard - "die standing". =P
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Happy for now
Haha feeling rather happy for now. Don't know how long this is gonna keep up for though...
My heart's in my mouth at the moment. Feeling a little nervous. I somehow get this feeling that the decisions that will be made tomorrow will adversely affect my future plans.
Am I getting paranoid again? Or could someone please tell me my paranoia is justifiable?
At any rate, I'm glad I am doing my role for CIG. Even though I cannot commit time (yes my timetable is unfortunately THAT packed), I guess I am still able to commit my services online at the very least... Hopefully this works out.
OK I am really too nervous to continue. I think I better get along with complex no.s tutorial before going to bed. I think an early night will do me some good...
My heart's in my mouth at the moment. Feeling a little nervous. I somehow get this feeling that the decisions that will be made tomorrow will adversely affect my future plans.
Am I getting paranoid again? Or could someone please tell me my paranoia is justifiable?
At any rate, I'm glad I am doing my role for CIG. Even though I cannot commit time (yes my timetable is unfortunately THAT packed), I guess I am still able to commit my services online at the very least... Hopefully this works out.
OK I am really too nervous to continue. I think I better get along with complex no.s tutorial before going to bed. I think an early night will do me some good...
Monday, June 23, 2008
First day of final semester
Ahh back in school. I'm keeping my fingers crossed really hard that all goes well this round...
In the meantime, I shall do some advertisement for Chemistry Interest Group A.K.A. cAtAlYzR!
*******************
CAtAlYZr! is a chemistry interest group started by 4 chemistry-lovers, to encourage students to learn about chemistry in a fun and experiential manner.
We will explore different fields of chemistry, initiate discussions and carry out fun experiments that will never be done in the classroom!
Some examples of experiments / discussion topics include things like forensic science, beauty products, and crystal formation. If these aren’t your cup of tea, you can also help in other ways by contributing articles to the newsletter or starting chemistry-related projects.
We welcome anyone who has a strong passion in chemistry to join our sessions, either as volunteers or participants! For more details, please contact me via email/sms/MSN/call/in person. Do spread the word about CIG among your friends too!
*******************
Now on to blog abit about school today...
Today first thing back in school, an announcement was made regarding Zhao Ye and Wei Chao's award won at ISEF. Amusing part came along when Yun Hui announced about the two of them getting to join a list of names pending to be assigned to "asteroids and minor planets". Haha! Don't know why, but alot of people found it quite funny (no offence to the both of them. It is indeed an astounding achievement).
Then PE. Still zero pull ups, and NAPFA coming le. OK the chances of me skipping PTP is probably damn slim... sigh. Oh well.
After PE we had complex numbers. Mr Tan is teaching us! YEA. Hahahaha... at least we're guaranteed to move at quite a "fast" pace, if you get what I mean. =)
After math - which was relatively OK, apart from some boring parts regarding proof and basics - Wei Ling, Ying Zhen, Fiona and I met Mr Murali to discuss CIG stuff. Hmm seems like we can begin our recruitment! Haha... hopefully can get things done asap.
Went for English after that. Mr Sim teaching this time... OK so far. Got no major qualms with him, apart from that nagging feeling about Ros. Something I will never forgive him for I suppose...
After English, I went to see Mr Lim. Looks like things don't look too optimistic for people taking internships this semester... at least, for those people considering electives.
Gym was next. Spent three whole hours there... not sure if I fully optimized my time though, but going with Mikel was worthwhile.
Been a little busy since then. Ah crap still need to study complex numbers before the next class tomorrow... Ah sian.
In the meantime, I shall do some advertisement for Chemistry Interest Group A.K.A. cAtAlYzR!
*******************
CAtAlYZr! is a chemistry interest group started by 4 chemistry-lovers, to encourage students to learn about chemistry in a fun and experiential manner.
We will explore different fields of chemistry, initiate discussions and carry out fun experiments that will never be done in the classroom!
Some examples of experiments / discussion topics include things like forensic science, beauty products, and crystal formation. If these aren’t your cup of tea, you can also help in other ways by contributing articles to the newsletter or starting chemistry-related projects.
We welcome anyone who has a strong passion in chemistry to join our sessions, either as volunteers or participants! For more details, please contact me via email/sms/MSN/call/in person. Do spread the word about CIG among your friends too!
*******************
Now on to blog abit about school today...
Today first thing back in school, an announcement was made regarding Zhao Ye and Wei Chao's award won at ISEF. Amusing part came along when Yun Hui announced about the two of them getting to join a list of names pending to be assigned to "asteroids and minor planets". Haha! Don't know why, but alot of people found it quite funny (no offence to the both of them. It is indeed an astounding achievement).
Then PE. Still zero pull ups, and NAPFA coming le. OK the chances of me skipping PTP is probably damn slim... sigh. Oh well.
After PE we had complex numbers. Mr Tan is teaching us! YEA. Hahahaha... at least we're guaranteed to move at quite a "fast" pace, if you get what I mean. =)
After math - which was relatively OK, apart from some boring parts regarding proof and basics - Wei Ling, Ying Zhen, Fiona and I met Mr Murali to discuss CIG stuff. Hmm seems like we can begin our recruitment! Haha... hopefully can get things done asap.
Went for English after that. Mr Sim teaching this time... OK so far. Got no major qualms with him, apart from that nagging feeling about Ros. Something I will never forgive him for I suppose...
After English, I went to see Mr Lim. Looks like things don't look too optimistic for people taking internships this semester... at least, for those people considering electives.
Gym was next. Spent three whole hours there... not sure if I fully optimized my time though, but going with Mikel was worthwhile.
Been a little busy since then. Ah crap still need to study complex numbers before the next class tomorrow... Ah sian.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Hitomi no Tsubasa!
OMG this song rocks totally man. Code Geass third opening!
And the full song's PV is not bad either, albeit repetitive.
And the lyrics:
ACCESS - HITOMI NO TSUBASA
Itamu basho wa dare ni mo iwanai
Isogu kokoro ga kakushita yume o
Kowaresou na hitomi de mitsumeru
Osaekirenai chikara dake
Hanasazu ni tobitatsu
Meguriai ga ugokidasu
Unmei o hayamete
Jibun o dakishimeteru ryoute o
Kimi no tame ni hodoite miru kedo
Todokanai sabishisa ga aru dake
Kazoekirenai negai nara
Azayaka ni hikiyose
Kanau you ni furesugita
Setsunasa ga kienai
Osaekirenai chikara dake
Hanasazu ni tobitatsu
Meguriai ga ugokidasu
Unmei o hayamete
Semete kimi ga kakenukeru
Isshun o oshiete
...
And the translation! =)
ACCESS - HITOMI NO TSUBASA
I won’t tell where I feel hurt to anyone
My hurrying heart hid my dreams
I gaze at you with eyes that seem to crumble
Only my incompletely suppressed strength
Takes off inseparably
Our encounter begins to move
Hastening destiny
For your sake, I’ll try to unfasten
My hands that are embracing myself
But there’s only an unreachable loneliness
If there are countless wishes
Then vividly pull them in
The instant, which I’ve touched too much
So to fulfill it, won’t disappear
Only my incompletely suppressed strength
Takes off inseparably
Our encounter begins to move
Hastening destiny
At least tell me about
The moment when you dash through
...
Final note: the translation seems to be different from the one in the anime.
And the full song's PV is not bad either, albeit repetitive.
And the lyrics:
ACCESS - HITOMI NO TSUBASA
Itamu basho wa dare ni mo iwanai
Isogu kokoro ga kakushita yume o
Kowaresou na hitomi de mitsumeru
Osaekirenai chikara dake
Hanasazu ni tobitatsu
Meguriai ga ugokidasu
Unmei o hayamete
Jibun o dakishimeteru ryoute o
Kimi no tame ni hodoite miru kedo
Todokanai sabishisa ga aru dake
Kazoekirenai negai nara
Azayaka ni hikiyose
Kanau you ni furesugita
Setsunasa ga kienai
Osaekirenai chikara dake
Hanasazu ni tobitatsu
Meguriai ga ugokidasu
Unmei o hayamete
Semete kimi ga kakenukeru
Isshun o oshiete
...
And the translation! =)
ACCESS - HITOMI NO TSUBASA
I won’t tell where I feel hurt to anyone
My hurrying heart hid my dreams
I gaze at you with eyes that seem to crumble
Only my incompletely suppressed strength
Takes off inseparably
Our encounter begins to move
Hastening destiny
For your sake, I’ll try to unfasten
My hands that are embracing myself
But there’s only an unreachable loneliness
If there are countless wishes
Then vividly pull them in
The instant, which I’ve touched too much
So to fulfill it, won’t disappear
Only my incompletely suppressed strength
Takes off inseparably
Our encounter begins to move
Hastening destiny
At least tell me about
The moment when you dash through
...
Final note: the translation seems to be different from the one in the anime.
A last check:
Things I've done so far:
Got a new bag
Replaced my wallet
Counted the first set of spider leg hairs and keyed them in
Completed Winter Assault
Finished with Code Geass
Watching Code Geass R2, Death Note, and Shuffle!
Caught up with FMA's latest manga
Written my personal statement and achievement writeup
Consolidated things I need to add inside the SDT
Decided on Sem 2 plans
Finished tutoring Su Chang chem (and physics)
Cleaned up my com
Passed through IChO training
Mentally prepared myself for Sem 2
Got first runner-up for TPJC comp
Things I've not done/yet to do:
PT
Study for quantum mech
Prepare for chem O prac training
Tutoring Royston Org Chem (looks harder than it seems)
Count the second half of the spider legs
Die during the last semester in school
Pack my bag
Tidy my work desk
Figure how to style my hair
And more importantly, live up to my expectations...
What to do?
God, hopefully I won't die this semester...
Got a new bag
Replaced my wallet
Counted the first set of spider leg hairs and keyed them in
Completed Winter Assault
Finished with Code Geass
Watching Code Geass R2, Death Note, and Shuffle!
Caught up with FMA's latest manga
Written my personal statement and achievement writeup
Consolidated things I need to add inside the SDT
Decided on Sem 2 plans
Finished tutoring Su Chang chem (and physics)
Cleaned up my com
Passed through IChO training
Mentally prepared myself for Sem 2
Got first runner-up for TPJC comp
Things I've not done/yet to do:
PT
Study for quantum mech
Prepare for chem O prac training
Tutoring Royston Org Chem (looks harder than it seems)
Count the second half of the spider legs
Die during the last semester in school
Pack my bag
Tidy my work desk
Figure how to style my hair
And more importantly, live up to my expectations...
What to do?
God, hopefully I won't die this semester...
Saturday, June 21, 2008
School reopens soon
OK finally couldn't stand the internet, so Dad, Mom and I went down to Plaza Sing to visit the Starhub shop to buy a new cable modem. Hopefully this solves the problem...
Oh I got myself a new converse shoulder bag! =)
I think I need to get myself some proper pants too. Can't expect myself going for internship in jeans right. >.<
I am half-excited, half-dreading returning to school... haiz. I shall save the explanation.
Oh on a side note, I've adopted a new nickname: Rayne (sounds like Rain. o.O) Apparently I like to string R's and A's in my nicks. XD
Oh I got myself a new converse shoulder bag! =)
I think I need to get myself some proper pants too. Can't expect myself going for internship in jeans right. >.<
I am half-excited, half-dreading returning to school... haiz. I shall save the explanation.
Oh on a side note, I've adopted a new nickname: Rayne (sounds like Rain. o.O) Apparently I like to string R's and A's in my nicks. XD
Friday, June 20, 2008
Oh great. Just great. Because of the timetable and my internship, I cannot take electives...
QUANTUM MECH! I WANT. =(
Looks like I'll have to ask Mr Lim about this. Really hope that I can take that module. Have been waiting the entire hols for this! =((
Hmm, why not look on the bright side... if I can't take it, I can use the time for other things. ^^
Hmm... hopefully I get to "slack off" in the middle of the internship. XD
QUANTUM MECH! I WANT. =(
Looks like I'll have to ask Mr Lim about this. Really hope that I can take that module. Have been waiting the entire hols for this! =((
Hmm, why not look on the bright side... if I can't take it, I can use the time for other things. ^^
Hmm... hopefully I get to "slack off" in the middle of the internship. XD
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Compare and Contrast
So this is all I ever do... compare myself against others. Everything I do seems to be "for the sake of other people", huh. Why can't I do things for the sake of myself?
Or perhaps I've already done so, except that I never realized it? Haiz.
I'm in no mood to do anything. I've never been in any mood to do anything these days in fact. Sigh.
Hopefully watching anime helps.
Or perhaps I've already done so, except that I never realized it? Haiz.
I'm in no mood to do anything. I've never been in any mood to do anything these days in fact. Sigh.
Hopefully watching anime helps.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Just thinking
Inferiority complex
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
An inferiority complex, in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. Such feelings can arise from an imagined or actual inferiority in the afflicted person. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme antisocial behavior, or both. Unlike a normal feeling of inferiority, which can act as an incentive for achievement, an inferiority complex is an advanced state of discouragement, often resulting in a retreat from difficulties.
Early work in this field was pioneered by Alfred Adler, who used the example of Napoleon complexes to illustrate his theory. Some sociologists have proposed that an inferiority complex can also exist at a wider level, affecting entire cultures. This theory, which is controversial, is known as cultural cringe.
Classical Adlerian psychology makes a distinction between primary and secondary inferiority feelings. A primary inferiority feeling is said to be rooted in the young child's original experience of weakness, helplessness and dependency. It can then be intensified by comparisons to older siblings and adults. A secondary inferiority feeling relates to an adult's experience of being unable to reach an unconscious, fictional final goal of subjective security and success to compensate for the inferiority feelings. The perceived distance from that goal would lead to a "minus" feeling that could then prompt the recall of the original inferiority feeling; this composite of inferiority feelings could be experienced as overwhelming. The goal invented to relieve the original, primary feeling of inferiority which actually causes the secondary feeling of inferiority is the "catch-22" of this dilemma. This vicious circle is common in neurotic lifestyles.
Causes
* Parental attitudes and upbringing - disapproving negative remarks and evaluations of behavior emphasizing mistakes and shortcomings determine the attitude of the child before the age of six.[citation needed]
* Physical defects - such as disproportional facial features, speech defects and defective vision cause inferiority complexes.[citation needed]
* Mental limitations - brings feelings of inferiority when unfavorable comparisons are made with the superior achievements of others, and when satisfactory performance is expected.[citation needed]
* Social disadvantages - family, race, sex, sexual orientation or economic status
Manifestation
This feeling may be manifested in withdrawal from social contacts or excessive seeking for attention, criticism of others, overly dutiful obedience, and worry.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferiority_complex
*wonders*
How about another interesting article? =D
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=study-says-brains-of-gay
It only confirmed my previous conjectures upon reading this article: You're not pre-programmed to be gay. You're merely running away. You're afraid of rejection. You fear people who do not accept you. You escape, escape, escape, yet you are not really escaping at all. Going homo won't solve anything... It'll just prolong your pain.
Though I don't blame you. I'd imagine anyone placed in a community that rejects him/her would experience emotional pain. And... I don't know, but it is a shame I can't empathize with this.
RANDOM: HITOMI NO TSUBASA! =DDD
*Eee cannot find the song on radioblogclub.com. Nevermind, Mosaic Kakera is equally nice! Placed the song on the right-hand side of my blog. =)*
School reopening soon... I can't imagine what my next semester is going to be like at all. Well... I guess the only thing that can comfort me is that there is NO MORE PHYSICS (apart from a physics elective which I am quite determined to try my best at). Haha.
I should be studying for chem O actually, but I realized how the style of chem O really doesn't suit me. Oh well, hopefully the practicals would be more interesting.
I really shouldn't be saying this kind of things right... it only reflects how ungrateful I am for receiving such an opportunity. =(
Oh well, life goes on. The sky's gloomy today... Somehow pasting spider legs together helps me take my mind of other matters.
Oh, and I realized how nice the BGMs used in Code Geass are. Really easy to listen to...
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
An inferiority complex, in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. Such feelings can arise from an imagined or actual inferiority in the afflicted person. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme antisocial behavior, or both. Unlike a normal feeling of inferiority, which can act as an incentive for achievement, an inferiority complex is an advanced state of discouragement, often resulting in a retreat from difficulties.
Early work in this field was pioneered by Alfred Adler, who used the example of Napoleon complexes to illustrate his theory. Some sociologists have proposed that an inferiority complex can also exist at a wider level, affecting entire cultures. This theory, which is controversial, is known as cultural cringe.
Classical Adlerian psychology makes a distinction between primary and secondary inferiority feelings. A primary inferiority feeling is said to be rooted in the young child's original experience of weakness, helplessness and dependency. It can then be intensified by comparisons to older siblings and adults. A secondary inferiority feeling relates to an adult's experience of being unable to reach an unconscious, fictional final goal of subjective security and success to compensate for the inferiority feelings. The perceived distance from that goal would lead to a "minus" feeling that could then prompt the recall of the original inferiority feeling; this composite of inferiority feelings could be experienced as overwhelming. The goal invented to relieve the original, primary feeling of inferiority which actually causes the secondary feeling of inferiority is the "catch-22" of this dilemma. This vicious circle is common in neurotic lifestyles.
Causes
* Parental attitudes and upbringing - disapproving negative remarks and evaluations of behavior emphasizing mistakes and shortcomings determine the attitude of the child before the age of six.[citation needed]
* Physical defects - such as disproportional facial features, speech defects and defective vision cause inferiority complexes.[citation needed]
* Mental limitations - brings feelings of inferiority when unfavorable comparisons are made with the superior achievements of others, and when satisfactory performance is expected.[citation needed]
* Social disadvantages - family, race, sex, sexual orientation or economic status
Manifestation
This feeling may be manifested in withdrawal from social contacts or excessive seeking for attention, criticism of others, overly dutiful obedience, and worry.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferiority_complex
*wonders*
How about another interesting article? =D
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=study-says-brains-of-gay
It only confirmed my previous conjectures upon reading this article: You're not pre-programmed to be gay. You're merely running away. You're afraid of rejection. You fear people who do not accept you. You escape, escape, escape, yet you are not really escaping at all. Going homo won't solve anything... It'll just prolong your pain.
Though I don't blame you. I'd imagine anyone placed in a community that rejects him/her would experience emotional pain. And... I don't know, but it is a shame I can't empathize with this.
RANDOM: HITOMI NO TSUBASA! =DDD
*Eee cannot find the song on radioblogclub.com. Nevermind, Mosaic Kakera is equally nice! Placed the song on the right-hand side of my blog. =)*
School reopening soon... I can't imagine what my next semester is going to be like at all. Well... I guess the only thing that can comfort me is that there is NO MORE PHYSICS (apart from a physics elective which I am quite determined to try my best at). Haha.
I should be studying for chem O actually, but I realized how the style of chem O really doesn't suit me. Oh well, hopefully the practicals would be more interesting.
I really shouldn't be saying this kind of things right... it only reflects how ungrateful I am for receiving such an opportunity. =(
Oh well, life goes on. The sky's gloomy today... Somehow pasting spider legs together helps me take my mind of other matters.
Oh, and I realized how nice the BGMs used in Code Geass are. Really easy to listen to...
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Zzzz
I feel so much of a sloth now. Can't seem to do any proper work...
Well, just done with Code Geass R2 episode 10. Watching Death Note in the meantime, while waiting for the next episode for C.G. R2.
I think I have to accomplish writing the personal statement and achievement write-up by this Friday. Oh, and I should fill up that volunteer form and internship form too... Haiz.
I wonder if I am at a loss for not applying to read NUS modules. Hmm. But then again I really hate to see my last semester being burnt away on academia again - though it sounds pretty easy to accomplish IMO.
Bleh. Better get moving with churning ideas. I really cannot write a good article for nuts... let alone writing about myself WITHIN ONE PAGE. But come to think of it, I should be half-glad that the word limit is one page... I might overshoot writing that whole lot of bullshit inside.
And speaking of 'bullshit', I was reading on tips on how to play 'bullshit' better - the card game. Haha still can't believe I lost two games in a row (and still have Kar Yen to remind me about it. -.-)
Well, just done with Code Geass R2 episode 10. Watching Death Note in the meantime, while waiting for the next episode for C.G. R2.
I think I have to accomplish writing the personal statement and achievement write-up by this Friday. Oh, and I should fill up that volunteer form and internship form too... Haiz.
I wonder if I am at a loss for not applying to read NUS modules. Hmm. But then again I really hate to see my last semester being burnt away on academia again - though it sounds pretty easy to accomplish IMO.
Bleh. Better get moving with churning ideas. I really cannot write a good article for nuts... let alone writing about myself WITHIN ONE PAGE. But come to think of it, I should be half-glad that the word limit is one page... I might overshoot writing that whole lot of bullshit inside.
And speaking of 'bullshit', I was reading on tips on how to play 'bullshit' better - the card game. Haha still can't believe I lost two games in a row (and still have Kar Yen to remind me about it. -.-)
Monday, June 16, 2008
Internet seems to be back
This is weird... all that happened was we unplugged the cable modem and the router and replugged them together, and now the internet doesn't seem to give anymore problems... for now. How strange.
Well lets hope things stay this way. Had to endure quite a bit of shouting between dad and I. Well, that's common I suppose.
Now to figure out a way to wake Ros up to play AVP2. Lol.
Well lets hope things stay this way. Had to endure quite a bit of shouting between dad and I. Well, that's common I suppose.
Now to figure out a way to wake Ros up to play AVP2. Lol.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Stupid internet...
Gah my home internet connection is really getting on my nerves. Gah.
Thankfully now it has stabilized. Not sure when it will go wonky again.
Today went to spend 5 hours at Vivocity Starbucks discussing with CIG people on what to do for Term 3. Hopefully can kick-start the thing asap. I'm getting quite excited - somewhat. It's a shame that I'll have internship to contend with among many other things during this time... not sure if I can give my all to this. Nevertheless, I am glad. =)
Now time to figure out what to do next...
Once again I find myself inevitably comparing myself against the likes of others. I am scared. I am afraid. I am fear not how I stand up to others, but whether I can meet up to the expectations set for myself.
Pray to God for His strength.
Thankfully now it has stabilized. Not sure when it will go wonky again.
Today went to spend 5 hours at Vivocity Starbucks discussing with CIG people on what to do for Term 3. Hopefully can kick-start the thing asap. I'm getting quite excited - somewhat. It's a shame that I'll have internship to contend with among many other things during this time... not sure if I can give my all to this. Nevertheless, I am glad. =)
Now time to figure out what to do next...
Once again I find myself inevitably comparing myself against the likes of others. I am scared. I am afraid. I am fear not how I stand up to others, but whether I can meet up to the expectations set for myself.
Pray to God for His strength.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
tutoring, arcade, and a visit to grandma's
Went to Bishan Library at 10am to tutor Su Chang physics... realized just how lousy I am at it. Or more like, how lousy I am at explaining it. It's almost as if I don't feel comfortable explaining physics to anybody. Hmm perhaps I just don't have affinity for that subject... haiz.
At 12noon we went to eat at Food Junction and played at the arcade! Hahaha... never been to arcade for quite a while le. Played Percussion Master and a couple of racing games... too bad the air hockey table was spoilt. =(
Wanna go back and play Percussion Master again! Maybe with my sis next time - to see how I will get thrashed by her. But my sis will probably insist on playing Taiko no Tatsujin. Gee.
At 2pm, I went back to library to continue tutoring with Royston. Haha today covered nucleophilic substitution for organic chem! Haha the pace is slow I admit, but I think we're making good progress, and I can see that Royston understands! Yay. =)
Makes me wonder why I could sleep through most of those organic chem classes and still end up understanding the content in the lecture notes, eh? XD
Anyway, ended tutoring at 5pm and headed back home to rest a bit before heading to grandma's house to celebrate her birthday (which is tomorrow actually). Hahaha... the adults were talking alot about NS - my extended family has a lot of guys and most of them have completed NS, or are going through it. Didn't feel very comfortable, especially when they mentioned about the NAPFA thing. Sigh.
I wonder if I can actually get into the enhanced batch and skip PTP. Oh well I'll need to work harder and cross my fingers hard. >.<
Sian. What now...
At 12noon we went to eat at Food Junction and played at the arcade! Hahaha... never been to arcade for quite a while le. Played Percussion Master and a couple of racing games... too bad the air hockey table was spoilt. =(
Wanna go back and play Percussion Master again! Maybe with my sis next time - to see how I will get thrashed by her. But my sis will probably insist on playing Taiko no Tatsujin. Gee.
At 2pm, I went back to library to continue tutoring with Royston. Haha today covered nucleophilic substitution for organic chem! Haha the pace is slow I admit, but I think we're making good progress, and I can see that Royston understands! Yay. =)
Makes me wonder why I could sleep through most of those organic chem classes and still end up understanding the content in the lecture notes, eh? XD
Anyway, ended tutoring at 5pm and headed back home to rest a bit before heading to grandma's house to celebrate her birthday (which is tomorrow actually). Hahaha... the adults were talking alot about NS - my extended family has a lot of guys and most of them have completed NS, or are going through it. Didn't feel very comfortable, especially when they mentioned about the NAPFA thing. Sigh.
I wonder if I can actually get into the enhanced batch and skip PTP. Oh well I'll need to work harder and cross my fingers hard. >.<
Sian. What now...
Friday, June 13, 2008
Oh no.
Ahhhh this is so messed up. Freaking freaking messed up. At this rate, I might as well forgo that IBN attachment I've long waited for. Or perhaps I should be a git and do it all last minute before I get enlisted early - yeah cos I failed NAPFA. I'm such a git.
Sian... =(
I just hope everything works out in the end.
Random: Karen x Lelouch! XD
This is interesting. I am suddenly considering dentistry as a future career. Lol?
Sian... =(
I just hope everything works out in the end.
Random: Karen x Lelouch! XD
This is interesting. I am suddenly considering dentistry as a future career. Lol?
Scatterbrain
Ah noo I feel like a scatterbrain now. Can't seem to focus on anything in particular...
Maybe it's cos of lack of food. Ros is still asleep at this hour and I am expected to wait for her to wake up and go have lunch.
Ah heck. I'll just head down for lunch and spend the time reorganizing my thoughts.
Maybe it's cos of lack of food. Ros is still asleep at this hour and I am expected to wait for her to wake up and go have lunch.
Ah heck. I'll just head down for lunch and spend the time reorganizing my thoughts.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Stupid internet
OMG I am on the verge of smashing my cable modem to pieces. The internet at home just keeps disconnecting on me... At this rate, I think I'll have to call up Starhub le. T.T
Anyway, I just had a 5 to 6 hour nap this afternoon. Ahhh... So nice - and so SINFUL. T.T
Now this means I've to chiong all my IR work at night. Grah.
************
Initially I wanted to post a picture of CC since Ernest seems to fancy her a lot, but I couldn't find a picture that interested me, so I decided to post Kallen's picture instead! ^^
Kallen and Lelouch! XD
Couldn't find better pics. The rest of them were either dull or too... err, let's just say they ain't nice for little kids. I realized the amount of fan service for Code Geass is just... Gee, you will get my point when you go google to search for pictures of CC or Kallen, especially the latter. >.<
Anyway, I just had a 5 to 6 hour nap this afternoon. Ahhh... So nice - and so SINFUL. T.T
Now this means I've to chiong all my IR work at night. Grah.
************
Initially I wanted to post a picture of CC since Ernest seems to fancy her a lot, but I couldn't find a picture that interested me, so I decided to post Kallen's picture instead! ^^
Kallen and Lelouch! XD
Couldn't find better pics. The rest of them were either dull or too... err, let's just say they ain't nice for little kids. I realized the amount of fan service for Code Geass is just... Gee, you will get my point when you go google to search for pictures of CC or Kallen, especially the latter. >.<
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Ahhh crap
Looks like I'll have to put Code Geass R2 on hold. So much work... T.T
Hope things go well.
Hope things go well.
Code Geass ftw!
Yeah. Finished watching the first season. Probably will start with R2 soon... but something tells me I prefer to have the season completed before I watch, but then again the ending of the first season is SO CLIFF-HANGER. OK maybe not, but still, with the knowledge that there's a second season.... hahah.
OK I will watch it. Can't resist anymore lol.
But Code Geass is indeed a good series, though towards the end it seemed everything suddenly crumbled... haha, perhaps that was the way they planned to end it - a sudden, turnabout ending: The type that makes you wonder whether it is supposed to be a good or bad ending. XD
And V.V.'s last minute appearance is so, err. It's almost as if she is needed there to tell Suzaku about the Geass - that's if they mentioned there is no second season for the anime.
At any rate, back to other stuff! Am quite... satisfied with how things are coming along. Still have a lot of stuff to do, but I'm glad that certain major things are finally over... such as IChO training (which is one of the slackest trainings I've ever been through, compared to like the last time I was with SIMO or the IChO phase 1 training), SATs, the SGH attachment, etc.
So little time, so much to do. But from what I see, time is no longer the issue. It's motivation... why do I see so little motivation in the work I do?
I just thought about it to myself, that if I were to not make it, I will still come out smiling and glad. There's a whole wide world for me to explore, why should I "give up a forest for just one tree"? =)
OK I will watch it. Can't resist anymore lol.
But Code Geass is indeed a good series, though towards the end it seemed everything suddenly crumbled... haha, perhaps that was the way they planned to end it - a sudden, turnabout ending: The type that makes you wonder whether it is supposed to be a good or bad ending. XD
And V.V.'s last minute appearance is so, err. It's almost as if she is needed there to tell Suzaku about the Geass - that's if they mentioned there is no second season for the anime.
At any rate, back to other stuff! Am quite... satisfied with how things are coming along. Still have a lot of stuff to do, but I'm glad that certain major things are finally over... such as IChO training (which is one of the slackest trainings I've ever been through, compared to like the last time I was with SIMO or the IChO phase 1 training), SATs, the SGH attachment, etc.
So little time, so much to do. But from what I see, time is no longer the issue. It's motivation... why do I see so little motivation in the work I do?
I just thought about it to myself, that if I were to not make it, I will still come out smiling and glad. There's a whole wide world for me to explore, why should I "give up a forest for just one tree"? =)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I knew I almost forgot to do something today - and that is to post! Haha, anyway, today's attachment was OK... went round the wards in the morning, and spoke with some of the personnel for a bit. After that went over to see the ultrasound machine in the neurovascular lab, before leaving at around 12noon. Yeah, today was short (cos we've seen most of what there is to see in day 1). Come to think of it right, all of this could have been done on a single day... Well I guess the docs are probably too busy and they left an extra day as added buffer time - though in my opinion it seemed to have irritated the people there more than they initially wanted. Oh well, tried to keep to myself as much as I could without getting in their way... hope that worked out.
Finishing Code Geass. Haha I know I am slow... yay. =)
Finishing Code Geass. Haha I know I am slow... yay. =)
Monday, June 09, 2008
A clarification about Pandora's Box
Thanks Royston for letting me know what is the correct version of the Pandora's Box legend. Apparently Pandora did NOT let hope escape, and that's why we say 'hope is not lost'. =)
***********
Anyway, something I heard today suddenly came across my mind, so I shall blog a little about it before I go watch anime. Damn it takes a hell long to buffer at my home. =(
I was on my way home from SGH today, and when I was at J8, I stopped by Macs to have a snack. So I bought my stuff and sat down at a table beside these two girls. As I was eating, I could hear one of them telling the other something about God. Interested, I listened in a bit to their conversation (it's rude to eavesdrop, I know). One of the girls was telling the other something about getting converted - I presume the other girl was a non-Christian and the first girl is trying to tell her that once you start to believe in God, you will sooner or later be converted. And suddenly she mentioned about the case of miracles, where people who have shown devout and extreme obedience and prayed to God have experienced incredible miracles, such as the "disappearance of a life-threatening cancer", etc. So the conclusion, was that since God has performed miracles, it is "proof" of His existance and we should believe in Him so that we can experience these miracles too, and our prayers would be answered.
I... wasn't too happy with that kind of mentality. Honestly.
*Now hold your horses. Shoot me after I am done elaborating*
Now, Christians have been desperately seeking God's presence in this world and looking for evidence that can "prove His power over Man". In this process, many have cited 'miracles' as a source of God's power, or ability to answer prayers. Miracles come in all forms: from the healing of an incurable illness, to the sudden rainfall after prolonged drought. We see them around the world, and they occur once in a blue moon (or to be more precise in Christian terms, if you pray to God). So, what believers like to tell non-believers, is that by praying to God, you will be able to receive His miracles, and since you don't want to be left out from such wonderful 'benefits', you SHOULD believe in God too. *add a smile here and a footnote indicating which church non-believers can go to get converted*
I am not criticizing this way of spreading God's word, but I personally feel that there are much better ways to show God's power in this world, instead of resorting to these "once in a blue moon" occurences.
Allow me to point out a couple of flaws in the above argument about miracles. First, we must recognize that we have no evidence that "miracles come from God". As the favourite saying in Statistics class goes, "Correlation does not imply Causation". Just because I eat ice-cream and the number of drowning rates in Singapore increased at the same time doesn't mean that my eating of ice-cream will increase drowning rates. At the same time, the mysterious curing of a deadly cancer after a period of devout prayer to God does not imply that the prayer has been answered. A more concrete cause-effect link needs to be drawn here before any further conclusion can be made. Sorry folks.
Second, I really hate to say this (and I don't doubt God's power here. Don't get me wrong), but if God has been able to provide miraculous cures to patients who pray to Him, then why is it that several others who may also be praying to Him still end up falling to the disease? Is this sign of God not answering their prayers? If your answer is yes, then does that imply that God is a partial God, or a God that does not love each one of us as much as the other? However, if your answer to the question is no - that God is still answering prayers - then why is it that some get their prayers answered and some don't? Does God segregate us based on how much we pray? Can we simply say that the amount of prayer or worship we offer represent the amount of faith in Him? I mean, I know of people who can sing empty songs and praise in their hearts, and of others that would choose to die before they admit that God "does not exist" - so does worship really measure faith? I don't think so.
Worship is quiet. Worship is one-on-one. Worship is between you and God. No one else. The amount of prayer you offer, the amount of praise you sing, can only be weighed by God. No one can use a scale that says "oh I prayed more than you so I shall stand a higher chance at receiving salvation than you do", just like how a rich man's $100 donation cannot be compared with a beggar woman's 2 cent donation.
I shudder at the thought of the second point. But you know what? I don't believe our God is a partial God. I believe He is all-powerful. He loves us. He protects us. And the answer lies at our feet. And NO I DO NOT TALK ABOUT MIRACLES. Spare me from that talk. I've had enough.
To save myself (and what's left of my faith), I shall use the last argument below as a finality statement to show why I believe in God.
Look at the world around us. Humanity: plagued by sickness, war, poverty, famine, greed, lust, envy, destruction... the list goes on. Yet, this world - this world which should have 'died' several thousand years ago - is still living. Yes. We've survived throughout this calamity for several millenia, and you tell me it is "human fighting spirit" that accounts for this? I believe there's more to it than meets the eye. Human fighting spirit cannot stop war from consuming whole nations, neither can it stop massive pandemics and millions of deaths. But!
Because God lives in all our hearts, that is why we've been empowered to prevent disaster. =)
God loves us. God gave Man strength. God has seen us through the tough times, and we've survived against overwhelming odds in a world that seems doomed to crumble. That, is why I believe God exists. =)
So praise the Lord, for He has lifted you onto your two tiny feet, straighted your once weakened spine, and given you the will to make this world a better place to be in!
*I feel like a preacher. Bleh. IGNORE ME*
Footnote: Observe that I've committed the first flaw in my final argument, just the same as for the 'miracles' one. Indeed... whether you believe in God ultimately comes back to you. You decide and walk the path that you choose - that is life for you.
*****************
OK all Christians reading this post are entitled to shoot me. But before you do, I refer you to John 18:23 (took me a while to find this). Now, with that in mind, open fire.
***********
Anyway, something I heard today suddenly came across my mind, so I shall blog a little about it before I go watch anime. Damn it takes a hell long to buffer at my home. =(
I was on my way home from SGH today, and when I was at J8, I stopped by Macs to have a snack. So I bought my stuff and sat down at a table beside these two girls. As I was eating, I could hear one of them telling the other something about God. Interested, I listened in a bit to their conversation (it's rude to eavesdrop, I know). One of the girls was telling the other something about getting converted - I presume the other girl was a non-Christian and the first girl is trying to tell her that once you start to believe in God, you will sooner or later be converted. And suddenly she mentioned about the case of miracles, where people who have shown devout and extreme obedience and prayed to God have experienced incredible miracles, such as the "disappearance of a life-threatening cancer", etc. So the conclusion, was that since God has performed miracles, it is "proof" of His existance and we should believe in Him so that we can experience these miracles too, and our prayers would be answered.
I... wasn't too happy with that kind of mentality. Honestly.
*Now hold your horses. Shoot me after I am done elaborating*
Now, Christians have been desperately seeking God's presence in this world and looking for evidence that can "prove His power over Man". In this process, many have cited 'miracles' as a source of God's power, or ability to answer prayers. Miracles come in all forms: from the healing of an incurable illness, to the sudden rainfall after prolonged drought. We see them around the world, and they occur once in a blue moon (or to be more precise in Christian terms, if you pray to God). So, what believers like to tell non-believers, is that by praying to God, you will be able to receive His miracles, and since you don't want to be left out from such wonderful 'benefits', you SHOULD believe in God too. *add a smile here and a footnote indicating which church non-believers can go to get converted*
I am not criticizing this way of spreading God's word, but I personally feel that there are much better ways to show God's power in this world, instead of resorting to these "once in a blue moon" occurences.
Allow me to point out a couple of flaws in the above argument about miracles. First, we must recognize that we have no evidence that "miracles come from God". As the favourite saying in Statistics class goes, "Correlation does not imply Causation". Just because I eat ice-cream and the number of drowning rates in Singapore increased at the same time doesn't mean that my eating of ice-cream will increase drowning rates. At the same time, the mysterious curing of a deadly cancer after a period of devout prayer to God does not imply that the prayer has been answered. A more concrete cause-effect link needs to be drawn here before any further conclusion can be made. Sorry folks.
Second, I really hate to say this (and I don't doubt God's power here. Don't get me wrong), but if God has been able to provide miraculous cures to patients who pray to Him, then why is it that several others who may also be praying to Him still end up falling to the disease? Is this sign of God not answering their prayers? If your answer is yes, then does that imply that God is a partial God, or a God that does not love each one of us as much as the other? However, if your answer to the question is no - that God is still answering prayers - then why is it that some get their prayers answered and some don't? Does God segregate us based on how much we pray? Can we simply say that the amount of prayer or worship we offer represent the amount of faith in Him? I mean, I know of people who can sing empty songs and praise in their hearts, and of others that would choose to die before they admit that God "does not exist" - so does worship really measure faith? I don't think so.
Worship is quiet. Worship is one-on-one. Worship is between you and God. No one else. The amount of prayer you offer, the amount of praise you sing, can only be weighed by God. No one can use a scale that says "oh I prayed more than you so I shall stand a higher chance at receiving salvation than you do", just like how a rich man's $100 donation cannot be compared with a beggar woman's 2 cent donation.
I shudder at the thought of the second point. But you know what? I don't believe our God is a partial God. I believe He is all-powerful. He loves us. He protects us. And the answer lies at our feet. And NO I DO NOT TALK ABOUT MIRACLES. Spare me from that talk. I've had enough.
To save myself (and what's left of my faith), I shall use the last argument below as a finality statement to show why I believe in God.
Look at the world around us. Humanity: plagued by sickness, war, poverty, famine, greed, lust, envy, destruction... the list goes on. Yet, this world - this world which should have 'died' several thousand years ago - is still living. Yes. We've survived throughout this calamity for several millenia, and you tell me it is "human fighting spirit" that accounts for this? I believe there's more to it than meets the eye. Human fighting spirit cannot stop war from consuming whole nations, neither can it stop massive pandemics and millions of deaths. But!
Because God lives in all our hearts, that is why we've been empowered to prevent disaster. =)
God loves us. God gave Man strength. God has seen us through the tough times, and we've survived against overwhelming odds in a world that seems doomed to crumble. That, is why I believe God exists. =)
So praise the Lord, for He has lifted you onto your two tiny feet, straighted your once weakened spine, and given you the will to make this world a better place to be in!
*I feel like a preacher. Bleh. IGNORE ME*
Footnote: Observe that I've committed the first flaw in my final argument, just the same as for the 'miracles' one. Indeed... whether you believe in God ultimately comes back to you. You decide and walk the path that you choose - that is life for you.
*****************
OK all Christians reading this post are entitled to shoot me. But before you do, I refer you to John 18:23 (took me a while to find this). Now, with that in mind, open fire.
Attachment at SGH
OK so I went down to SGH today for attachment - not so much of an 'internship', since it is only 2 days and most of it is just observation work. Hahaha... So erm, I shall cut the crap and get straight to the point. Am not in much of a mood to say much about what I did there anyway.
Basically, I arrived there at 9.30am, and went for attachment with Zenn from RJC. We first visited a ward and got to know a little about what the people do there. Then, at 11am we were released for lunch and we wandered around until 1pm, where we went to Neurodiagnosis clinic to meet the doctor we were attached to, who then told us it was his lunch break and we should come back only at 2pm, so the both of us were like, ok and went wandering around SGH blocks 1 to 7 until time was up. When we got back, we spent a little bit of time moving between rooms watching the doctors operate the machines to check on the nerves of the patients for anomalies, and much of the rest of the time stoning, or left to our own devices.
Oh well, I won't say it is the best of attachments I could have thought of, but it is nevertheless an attachment. After all, it has served its purpose for me I guess... and my parents are probably right. Those guys are just so busy that they can hardly be bothered with a fly like me. -.-
I am afraid: Afraid of the long hours, afraid of the sweat, afraid of the time lost, afraid of the life I could lead otherwise, afraid of the implications of my decision today, afraid of the risks, afraid of what I will be forced to give up.
But worst of all, I am afraid I will not meet the mark.
Thank goodness Pandora let Hope out of the box. =)
Basically, I arrived there at 9.30am, and went for attachment with Zenn from RJC. We first visited a ward and got to know a little about what the people do there. Then, at 11am we were released for lunch and we wandered around until 1pm, where we went to Neurodiagnosis clinic to meet the doctor we were attached to, who then told us it was his lunch break and we should come back only at 2pm, so the both of us were like, ok and went wandering around SGH blocks 1 to 7 until time was up. When we got back, we spent a little bit of time moving between rooms watching the doctors operate the machines to check on the nerves of the patients for anomalies, and much of the rest of the time stoning, or left to our own devices.
Oh well, I won't say it is the best of attachments I could have thought of, but it is nevertheless an attachment. After all, it has served its purpose for me I guess... and my parents are probably right. Those guys are just so busy that they can hardly be bothered with a fly like me. -.-
I am afraid: Afraid of the long hours, afraid of the sweat, afraid of the time lost, afraid of the life I could lead otherwise, afraid of the implications of my decision today, afraid of the risks, afraid of what I will be forced to give up.
But worst of all, I am afraid I will not meet the mark.
Thank goodness Pandora let Hope out of the box. =)
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Restored
I really like this song. It shows God's power to heal and forgive. =)
Jeremy Camp - Restored
All this time I've wandered around
Searching for the things I'll never know
I've been searching for this answer that
Only will be found in Your love
And I feel it my heart is being mended by Your touch
And I hear it Your voice that's shown my purpose in this world
You have restored me from my feeble and broken soul
You have restored me (2x)
I've only come to realize my strength will be made perfect at Your throne
Laying all reflections down to see the precious beauty that You've shown
And I feel it my heart is being mended by Your touch
And I hear it Your voice that's shown my purpose in this world
You have restored me from my feeble and broken soul
You have restored me (2x)
Laying all these questions down
You've answered what I need
You've given more than I deserve
You're making me complete
You've given all these open doors
I'm humbled at Your feet
Because of what You've done for me
You have restored me from my feeble and broken soul
You have restored me (2x)
You have restored me...
Jeremy Camp - Restored
All this time I've wandered around
Searching for the things I'll never know
I've been searching for this answer that
Only will be found in Your love
And I feel it my heart is being mended by Your touch
And I hear it Your voice that's shown my purpose in this world
You have restored me from my feeble and broken soul
You have restored me (2x)
I've only come to realize my strength will be made perfect at Your throne
Laying all reflections down to see the precious beauty that You've shown
And I feel it my heart is being mended by Your touch
And I hear it Your voice that's shown my purpose in this world
You have restored me from my feeble and broken soul
You have restored me (2x)
Laying all these questions down
You've answered what I need
You've given more than I deserve
You're making me complete
You've given all these open doors
I'm humbled at Your feet
Because of what You've done for me
You have restored me from my feeble and broken soul
You have restored me (2x)
You have restored me...
God is...
Interesting article...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_is_dead
Are you willing to accept a world without God, a universe without the sanctity and divinity of Him?
Obviously not.
******
And omg SABER! <3
Yays. XD
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_is_dead
Are you willing to accept a world without God, a universe without the sanctity and divinity of Him?
Obviously not.
******
And omg SABER! <3
Yays. XD
Saturday, June 07, 2008
SAT!
"What do you call the baby that a mother has given birth to while standing up?"
...
...
...
"Fall Out Boy" >.<
Don't blame me. Ros heard it off the radio. 98.7FM I think.
********************
Took SAT in school today. Wasn't too bad - hopefully can get a better score this time... haha. I really hate preparing for this sort of crap.
Yay no more! Hahaha... now can rest in piece - until the score comes back. >.<
...
...
...
"Fall Out Boy" >.<
Don't blame me. Ros heard it off the radio. 98.7FM I think.
********************
Took SAT in school today. Wasn't too bad - hopefully can get a better score this time... haha. I really hate preparing for this sort of crap.
Yay no more! Hahaha... now can rest in piece - until the score comes back. >.<
Friday, June 06, 2008
Hmm IChO training...
I'm starting to have slight regrets about the IChO training I am participating in. Sure, I think the only few plus points about it is that I get to meet some chem tutors that may be more experienced with the questions that I am, interact with the IChO main team (and other reserve), as well as be exposed to solving the IChO prep problems, but still... this wasn't what I expected.
Or I could have been asking too much. I should be grateful that IChO training isn't as taxing as, say, IPhO. Now that one is quite insane. T.T
Today's training session set the new record: We started at 10.05am, and ended at about 10.40am. Total time spent? 35minutes... when the session was supposed to last 3 hours. And what did we do? Go through answers of prep problems when solutions are already available on the net.
Wow.
OK barring the possibility that there might potentially be idiots (like me) who MAY NOT understand ALL the solutions provided, I don't really see the point of the training. No structured revision, no technique training, no problem-solving classes, all just solutions and solutions.... sigh. Then again, I might have been asking for too much, so I shall play the diplomat and keep my mouth shut.
SAT tomorrow. So screwed. Pray that I can cross that bar. T.T
Or I could have been asking too much. I should be grateful that IChO training isn't as taxing as, say, IPhO. Now that one is quite insane. T.T
Today's training session set the new record: We started at 10.05am, and ended at about 10.40am. Total time spent? 35minutes... when the session was supposed to last 3 hours. And what did we do? Go through answers of prep problems when solutions are already available on the net.
Wow.
OK barring the possibility that there might potentially be idiots (like me) who MAY NOT understand ALL the solutions provided, I don't really see the point of the training. No structured revision, no technique training, no problem-solving classes, all just solutions and solutions.... sigh. Then again, I might have been asking for too much, so I shall play the diplomat and keep my mouth shut.
SAT tomorrow. So screwed. Pray that I can cross that bar. T.T
Sam's party!
Haha today was quite... fun! At least, barring the fact that the dreaded SATs are coming up... probably gonna flunk it again. Oh well, hopefully this time I can scrape a 2100+ score. Not gonna be fussy this time. T.T
Had chem O class in the morning... was pretty bad, cos the lecturer was counting on us to have made some headway with the questions before coming to class, and since my head's full of anything but chem now, that didn't really help. Ended up not being able to answer any of the three questions that we went through today. Zzz. Feel so stupid.
Anyway, after class me and Xing Kai went to have lunch. It was raining quite heavily, but thankfully the rain let up after lunch, so I bade him farewell and left with Greg to go Bukit Batok interchange (seems I've been there quite a few times now, haha). Ended up sitting in Macs and solving the chem O questions for the next class i.e. tomorrow's class. Omg so sad Greg can't go tomorrow cos his injured toe hurt really bad from all that walking!! T.T Ah well, I think he won't be missing out on much. Besides, considering the nature of the questions, I think they are quite doable for a person of his calibre. ^^
After working on questions, we finally headed to Sam's house. Turns out Greg and I were too early (arrived there at 4 - before Sam herself came home)! Haha... then people slowly came in... quite a number of people turned up for the party actually. Sam really must have gotten a lot of people haha.
Went down to help set up the BBQ area a bit, though in actual fact Sam's parents did the most work. Oops? Hahaha... so had dinner there and finally in the evening Yeelyn came and brought along her basketball, so a few of us went over to play at the bball court. Heh, have not played it for a loooong time man... the feeling's damn 'shiok' haha. Today luck seems to be on my side, or perhaps my shooting control's getting better? Haha... I wonder if it was the result of gym. o.O
CORRELATION DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION.
Oops? XD
Anyway, we had hell of a time playing, and I actually made quite a number of shots! Haha... must play more when school reopens, now that things are no longer so stressful (or seems to be so).
After bball, I went up to Sam's house and got myself a shower and change. Played cards with Karyen, Yeelyn, Yunwei, Eugene, Mikel and Gabriel. Haha... bluff - and I lost both rounds. Man I must have lost my touch completely - or it could just have been Gabriel's presence in the game. Zzz. =(
By the time we ended, it was 10pm, so the whole group of us left Sam's place and headed for the interchange. Eugene, Yunzhi, YY and I took bus 852 back. Then walked YZ back to her home before heading off myself. Oh, and I did a good deed today - I woke Benjamin Toh from his nap on the bus when it came to the stop he was supposed to alight at. Ahh... I supposed I did it knowing that I would have appreciated someone doing it for me if I were in his shoes. Heh.
I think I better go sleep now. Tomorrow still got class... Rawr.
Had chem O class in the morning... was pretty bad, cos the lecturer was counting on us to have made some headway with the questions before coming to class, and since my head's full of anything but chem now, that didn't really help. Ended up not being able to answer any of the three questions that we went through today. Zzz. Feel so stupid.
Anyway, after class me and Xing Kai went to have lunch. It was raining quite heavily, but thankfully the rain let up after lunch, so I bade him farewell and left with Greg to go Bukit Batok interchange (seems I've been there quite a few times now, haha). Ended up sitting in Macs and solving the chem O questions for the next class i.e. tomorrow's class. Omg so sad Greg can't go tomorrow cos his injured toe hurt really bad from all that walking!! T.T Ah well, I think he won't be missing out on much. Besides, considering the nature of the questions, I think they are quite doable for a person of his calibre. ^^
After working on questions, we finally headed to Sam's house. Turns out Greg and I were too early (arrived there at 4 - before Sam herself came home)! Haha... then people slowly came in... quite a number of people turned up for the party actually. Sam really must have gotten a lot of people haha.
Went down to help set up the BBQ area a bit, though in actual fact Sam's parents did the most work. Oops? Hahaha... so had dinner there and finally in the evening Yeelyn came and brought along her basketball, so a few of us went over to play at the bball court. Heh, have not played it for a loooong time man... the feeling's damn 'shiok' haha. Today luck seems to be on my side, or perhaps my shooting control's getting better? Haha... I wonder if it was the result of gym. o.O
CORRELATION DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION.
Oops? XD
Anyway, we had hell of a time playing, and I actually made quite a number of shots! Haha... must play more when school reopens, now that things are no longer so stressful (or seems to be so).
After bball, I went up to Sam's house and got myself a shower and change. Played cards with Karyen, Yeelyn, Yunwei, Eugene, Mikel and Gabriel. Haha... bluff - and I lost both rounds. Man I must have lost my touch completely - or it could just have been Gabriel's presence in the game. Zzz. =(
By the time we ended, it was 10pm, so the whole group of us left Sam's place and headed for the interchange. Eugene, Yunzhi, YY and I took bus 852 back. Then walked YZ back to her home before heading off myself. Oh, and I did a good deed today - I woke Benjamin Toh from his nap on the bus when it came to the stop he was supposed to alight at. Ahh... I supposed I did it knowing that I would have appreciated someone doing it for me if I were in his shoes. Heh.
I think I better go sleep now. Tomorrow still got class... Rawr.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
What you should have known...
If you have excess riches and property,
Don't splurge and waste it away
Spread the wealth among those who lack it
And let that make their day.
If you have blood running in you,
Don't hoard it within yourself
Let it flow in the veins of others
For the sake of their good health
If you complain your cup's half-empty
Then it's time to think again
Thousands die from dehydration
So be content with what you've claimed
If you think you are imperfect
Then imperfect you would always be
Even if you weren't, nobody cares,
Unless you're the best you can be.
If you think the world is selfish,
Re-examine your view
For One is World and World is One.
Selfishness started with you.
Blame Eve for taking the forbidden fruit
Blame Adam for the fall of Man
But we do what mankind does best
And make do with what we can
For the world is never perfect
And human hearts are dark and cold
But ultimately the one who triumphs
Is the one with the heart of gold
So if you think you got what it takes
To make this world a better place
All things start right from you
So stop bothering about your face
This goes out to you... Give it up and let go. No matter how close to perfection you can be on the surface, you will never evade your past. You will never escape your fears. You will never overcome. You will never be the best you want to be. Never.
You have... my well-wishes. And may God Bless You. Amen.
Don't splurge and waste it away
Spread the wealth among those who lack it
And let that make their day.
If you have blood running in you,
Don't hoard it within yourself
Let it flow in the veins of others
For the sake of their good health
If you complain your cup's half-empty
Then it's time to think again
Thousands die from dehydration
So be content with what you've claimed
If you think you are imperfect
Then imperfect you would always be
Even if you weren't, nobody cares,
Unless you're the best you can be.
If you think the world is selfish,
Re-examine your view
For One is World and World is One.
Selfishness started with you.
Blame Eve for taking the forbidden fruit
Blame Adam for the fall of Man
But we do what mankind does best
And make do with what we can
For the world is never perfect
And human hearts are dark and cold
But ultimately the one who triumphs
Is the one with the heart of gold
So if you think you got what it takes
To make this world a better place
All things start right from you
So stop bothering about your face
This goes out to you... Give it up and let go. No matter how close to perfection you can be on the surface, you will never evade your past. You will never escape your fears. You will never overcome. You will never be the best you want to be. Never.
You have... my well-wishes. And may God Bless You. Amen.
I am glad... very glad. I don't know... it's like as if all this prejudice suddenly evaporated. I...
Guilty. I feel guilty. Guilty... yet glad at the same time. Satisfied. I hope I am not wrong with my feelings now. I think it is natural for me to feel guilty at this point of time.
Well, no matter what, there's always that tiny spark of light that has escaped from the overwhelming darkness of the Pandora's Box - hope. And hope it shall be.
I won't let you down. I swear on it. =)
It's a shame that I will be going ahead with this alone for now though. But nevermind. I won't despair. This is just a start... And as the saying goes:
"All endings are just new beginnings. It's only that we do not know when or where it is."
****************
IChO training today... Ah I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD HOW TO DEAL WITH LATIMER DIAGRAMS. Chem O training is quite good actually - apart from the fact that I can't do most of the questions in there. Sigh. No wonder that those people in the team are there: They deserve to. =)
And I just realized! SIMO camp was held in NUS High School campus this year! Lol... met Seng Teck when I was sitting at the G.O. at 1pm in the afternoon. I suspect the camp just ended this afternoon... yeah.
Oh no. I slacked so much! Still got an SAT paper to do... how! T.T
Guilty. I feel guilty. Guilty... yet glad at the same time. Satisfied. I hope I am not wrong with my feelings now. I think it is natural for me to feel guilty at this point of time.
Well, no matter what, there's always that tiny spark of light that has escaped from the overwhelming darkness of the Pandora's Box - hope. And hope it shall be.
I won't let you down. I swear on it. =)
It's a shame that I will be going ahead with this alone for now though. But nevermind. I won't despair. This is just a start... And as the saying goes:
"All endings are just new beginnings. It's only that we do not know when or where it is."
****************
IChO training today... Ah I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD HOW TO DEAL WITH LATIMER DIAGRAMS. Chem O training is quite good actually - apart from the fact that I can't do most of the questions in there. Sigh. No wonder that those people in the team are there: They deserve to. =)
And I just realized! SIMO camp was held in NUS High School campus this year! Lol... met Seng Teck when I was sitting at the G.O. at 1pm in the afternoon. I suspect the camp just ended this afternoon... yeah.
Oh no. I slacked so much! Still got an SAT paper to do... how! T.T
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Medical screening
A quick summary for today's events. Am feeling tired now.
This morning, I went down to CMPB for NS medical screening. Not bad... the system in place is rather efficient, with the only major time waster at the X-ray station for dental (where I checked and confirmed my suspicions on my dental defect. Two molars missing on lower jaw), and the insane number of tests conducted during vocational assessment. Gah, I really, really hate speed tests. T.T
Oh, and for those of you who are curious, I got PES A. Bleh, means I got the full BMT+++ (thanks to my inability to do chin-ups and SBJ)
Either way, I am sort of condemned. Lol.
On the bright side though, at least now I know I am healthy enough to be "combat-fit", if that is something worth being happy about...?
After the medical screening, I went to NUS to pick up flies from Mr Koh, and headed to school to meet Dr Seah. Discussed about the Cornell trip and IR updates. Now kind of excited about the trip to Cornell... haha.
Spoke with Mr Allan today too. He seemed pretty helpless when talking to YH and me earlier. I really don't know what else to say. After all, I don't blame him or anything. I suppose it is just my luck that I've no relatives who are doctors... Sigh.
Walked with YH all the way to Clementi MRT and parted ways there. Spent the walk time thinking carefully on what I should do next... something tells me things are going to have to become more complicated than they are now in order for something meaningful to come out of it... I guess.
Ah, I am tired. I'll finish the stuff to be printed tomorrow. For now, good night.
This morning, I went down to CMPB for NS medical screening. Not bad... the system in place is rather efficient, with the only major time waster at the X-ray station for dental (where I checked and confirmed my suspicions on my dental defect. Two molars missing on lower jaw), and the insane number of tests conducted during vocational assessment. Gah, I really, really hate speed tests. T.T
Oh, and for those of you who are curious, I got PES A. Bleh, means I got the full BMT+++ (thanks to my inability to do chin-ups and SBJ)
Either way, I am sort of condemned. Lol.
On the bright side though, at least now I know I am healthy enough to be "combat-fit", if that is something worth being happy about...?
After the medical screening, I went to NUS to pick up flies from Mr Koh, and headed to school to meet Dr Seah. Discussed about the Cornell trip and IR updates. Now kind of excited about the trip to Cornell... haha.
Spoke with Mr Allan today too. He seemed pretty helpless when talking to YH and me earlier. I really don't know what else to say. After all, I don't blame him or anything. I suppose it is just my luck that I've no relatives who are doctors... Sigh.
Walked with YH all the way to Clementi MRT and parted ways there. Spent the walk time thinking carefully on what I should do next... something tells me things are going to have to become more complicated than they are now in order for something meaningful to come out of it... I guess.
Ah, I am tired. I'll finish the stuff to be printed tomorrow. For now, good night.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Sigh
NS medical checkup tomorrow. Hopefully I don't get PES A... (I don't care. Honestly)
Was just looking at the IPPT booklet provided for NS men. Haha, so amusing. Here's the link for anyone bored enough:
http://www.ns.sg/publish/etc/medialib/nsportal/mindef_services/register_for_ns.Par.0004.File.tmp/IPPTBooklet.pdf
*realizes how doomed I am for chin-ups and SBJ*
Haaaiiizzzz....
Was just looking at the IPPT booklet provided for NS men. Haha, so amusing. Here's the link for anyone bored enough:
http://www.ns.sg/publish/etc/medialib/nsportal/mindef_services/register_for_ns.Par.0004.File.tmp/IPPTBooklet.pdf
*realizes how doomed I am for chin-ups and SBJ*
Haaaiiizzzz....
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Thanks ZM for the link. I don't think it's the real enneagram thing, but here are my results:
Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
| ENFJ - "Persuader". Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can be. 2.5% of total population. |
personality tests by similarminds.com
| Enneagram Test Results
Your variant is omni |
personality tests by similarminds.com
Frustrated
Feeling damn frustrated at the moment, so I shall keep my post super short.
Yesterday: Went to TPJC for impromptu speech competition. Got 1st runner-up - not bad for a first timer like me who clearly isn't cut out for impromptu speeches. Asra got 2nd runner-up. Ironically, I expected to get out of the place by the time preliminary rounds were over, and I got an award among 23 competitors. Interesting.
Today: Went to National Library today to tutor Su Chang. Started on quantum model today... Not bad. I can actually ignore all of Schrodinger's eeffy mathematics and still explain the significance of it in contributing towards the quantum model. Lol! Went Macs for lunch and then went home. Tried to do an SAT prep test, but with all the distractions at home, you can guess what happened to the prep. -.-
Need to concentrate... I need to do better tomorrow.
*dreads upcoming SATs*
Yesterday: Went to TPJC for impromptu speech competition. Got 1st runner-up - not bad for a first timer like me who clearly isn't cut out for impromptu speeches. Asra got 2nd runner-up. Ironically, I expected to get out of the place by the time preliminary rounds were over, and I got an award among 23 competitors. Interesting.
Today: Went to National Library today to tutor Su Chang. Started on quantum model today... Not bad. I can actually ignore all of Schrodinger's eeffy mathematics and still explain the significance of it in contributing towards the quantum model. Lol! Went Macs for lunch and then went home. Tried to do an SAT prep test, but with all the distractions at home, you can guess what happened to the prep. -.-
Need to concentrate... I need to do better tomorrow.
*dreads upcoming SATs*
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